I Think Magic's in the Learning

I'm back!

2011-04-25T21:31:00.002-04:00

I can't come up with a song lyric for that. So be it. I'm thinking this might turn into a book blog. I get more and more uncomfortable all the time with sharing personal information about my family in a forum that can be seen/read by anyone. I use Facebook for sharing with friends and family, and just about anyone I'd want to see that stuff has a Facebook account (my sister is the only important person in my life who isn't on Facebook, I think)

So, having said that, one last update. All my girls are playing soccer this spring/summer, with the oldest playing at a more competitive level for the first time. She's also playing on a rep baseball team, so for the foreseeable future, I will leave town on weekends only for soccer and baseball tournaments. The middlest is also playing baseball, but just house league, so that's on weeknights and finishes just after school finishes. That's enough stuff to run around to, so the littlest is just playing soccer and getting dragged to her sisters' games and practices. Hubby is still playing pick up hockey through the summer and coaching soccer. I don't have anything scheduled right now but want to find something. I just can't decide what. I'd happily play hockey through the summer, but I can't find a recreational women's summer league. Besides that, I'm just working, taking care of my house and family and working through a big stack of books. I took some from my mom and dad's house last time I was there, and now have connections to get more - my brother-in-law's fiancee-who-doesn't-have-a-ring-yet is an avid reader AND a high school teacher who has access to the book room at her school. I recently finished three books I intercepted as my sister in law was returning them to her, and then stole another one this weekend that she was going to lend to my sister in law (the sister in law said she wasn't going to get to it for a while, so I could read it first)

My biggest news, though, is that for the first time I can remember, literally, I can see without glasses or contacts! I had laser vision correction a couple of weeks ago and I'm absolutely thrilled with the results. I have slightly better than 20/20 vision now and no real problems. I had some dryness for the first week or so, some feeling like there was something in my eye when there wasn't, but overall, as I said, I'm thrilled.

So, that's what's going on with my family. Next up: book reviews!

Merry Christmas

2009-12-26T15:49:00.002-05:00

I'm sitting here enjoying two of my presents - a milk frother and a MacBook Pro. The milk frother was from my mom, and I've made a mocha latte, two egg nog lattes (with Kahluà) and a chai latte, and I absolutely love it. This is not going to help me lose weight but is going to save me a fortune at Starbucks and other fancy coffee places. The laptop is from Santa and I am in love - with the computer and the guy who gave it to me.

Christmas this year was one of the best in a while, despite it taking quite some time to get into the spirit of the season. Ryan was in California teaching a course for two weeks leading up to Christmas (he came back a week before Christmas) and it just felt like I had 800000000 things to do, and not nearly enough time to do them. But by 3:00 on Christmas Eve we were headed to Mass, and I just thought to myself, "By the time we leave here, everything will be closed. If I don't have it now, I'm not going to have it for Christmas and that's just too bad. So be it."

So. I made sure I had everything I needed for Christmas dinner and breakfast and Christmas Eve dinner on Dec 23. All three girls were participating in the children's mass on Christmas Eve this year, so we had to be at church for 3:00 for one last practice. I put a beef stew in the slow cooker around lunch time, got everyone bathed and dressed and got to church just slightly late. Friends joined us for the service, all three girls were beautiful and well-behaved angels (seriously - they were dressed as angels for the nativity story). Sam did a reading and did a great job - she looked so big and so grown-up (you know, for a seven year old) and read beautifully. After Mass we came home, changed and ate our beef stew (new recipe, quite yummy) and then opened our presents from each other. We checked the NORAD Santa tracker, then put the girls to bed and finished the preparations.

Hailey woke us up by running into our room and yelling, "It's Christmas! It's Christmas!" at reasonable hour (7:40, if I remember correctly). We opened presents, and Ryan and the girls spent quite a bit of time playing various Wii games. I started dinner at some point, with no real plan as to what time we would eat. It kinda went like this - I put the stuffing in the slow cooker and figured it could just stay there until everything else was ready. At some point, I put the turkey in the oven and said, "Okay, I guess we'll eat in about three hours." I made mashed potatoes, cooked some acorn squash, browned some buns, made gravy and set the table with Christmas stuff that I don't think I've ever used. It was awesome. The whole time I was just enjoying cooking and thinking, "Well, this should be pretty good, and hey, if it sucks, we have frozen dinners in the freezer." I was able to just relax and have fun with the cooking and enjoy the day and the meal with my famiy. It was very peaceful and relaxed and everyone seemed to enjoy themselves immensely.

We decided after Rylee was born that we weren't going to run all over the province trying to get to everyone at Christmas. We celebrated with my parents and sister the weekend before Christmas, and will celebrate with Ryan's family tomorrow. Now we're building our own traditions, and I think we may have started some this year that I'd like to keep. The dinner in the slow cooker on Christmas Eve worked well, because we needed something that we could leave alone for about 3.5 hours and have ready as soon as we got home. It might not be beef stew every year, but for as long as the girls are involved in the 5 pm children's mass, I think we'll stick with that.

Dinner was also great. I did pretty much all of it, and actually really enjoyed doing it. Ryan did the vast majority of the shopping, which I think he enjoyed. I liked using my Christmas dishes and serving utensils and tablecloth. I have other Christmas things that didn't get used this year, but maybe next year. The fact that it was just our little family was nice, too - very low stress because I wasn't worried about impressing anyone or what anyone would think or how my kitchen looked (it was a disgrace by the time we sat down to eat) I think that now that I've done the whole thing, I could do it for others, but it was nice to not have to worry.

Overall, I think that's what made the day so wonderful. It was peaceful, no stress. I hope that whatever you celebrate this time of year, it was/is/will be peaceful and joyous.

Oh daddy dear you know you're still number one

2009-09-26T14:16:00.003-04:00

A photographer took this picture of my beloved and our baby (who will be THREE in a few weeks) at my cousin's wedding. I had to share.

Everything's better down where it's wetter

2009-08-23T12:14:00.004-04:00

I went for a dive under the Bluewater Bridge in Sarnia with Ryan and some people from the Sarnia Underwater Club on Friday night. For the first time ever, someone took my picture underwater and I thought I'd share it. Here I am!!

Knowing my fate is to be with you

2009-04-06T23:17:00.002-04:00

I haven't watched American Idol in quite some time, but I hear that this week they have to sing a song that was released the year they were born. This sounded interesting, so I did some research, and I would like you all to know that if I'm ever in a contest where I have to sing a song from the year I was born, you can expect three things:

1. I will sing ABBA's "Waterloo",

2. I will belt it out at top volume.

3. I will lose the contest.

I'd love to hear what my friends/readers would sing from the year of their birth. Wikipedia has a list of hit singles from each year - check out the year of your birth and tell me what you'd sing!

All-Acadian, northern lady-an, a real Canadian girl

2009-02-21T22:21:00.002-05:00

Really, I've just been dying to use that as a post title :)

Tonight I played hockey at 8, and had a lot of fun even though we lost (again) and I didn't score any goals (again). We voted tonight on most improved player and most sportsmanlike, and I think I have a good shot at most improved. I'm not sure when the results are made public.

After hockey I drove very slowly home on an expressway that was so covered in snow you couldn't see where the lanes were. It's been snowing since Wed or Thurs. Ryan left Tues. I haven't been shoveling the driveway and obviously, neither has he. Tonight I decided it's time, so after playing hockey, I shoveled the driveway.

Now I'm having a beer. It doesn't get much more Canadian than this.

And we'll have fun, fun, fun

2009-02-21T09:47:00.002-05:00

Everyone in my family is sick except me. I still have a wicked cough, and who knows, probably something else too, but I'm too busy to be really sick right now. Monday was a holiday, Family Day (thank you Mr. McGuinty, I still think you're a weenie but I appreciate the long weekend in February), so this was only a four day work week to begin with. I only worked (at school, anyway) one and a half days.

Last Saturday Ryan finally succumbed to the flu. He was dizzy, achy, feverish - flu-y, really. It made for a lovely Valentine's celebration (he tried to force himself to be well all day, and finally passed out on the couch after dinner). He remained sick for the rest of the weekend. On Monday, Sam and Rylee developed fevers again, and by Monday night were still not well, so I booked the next day off. By morning Sam was a bit better, but Hailey was worse, so it was good that I was home. Tuesday morning Ryan left for California. As he left he said he felt much better and that his fever had finally broken, so I was happy for him. Wednesday morning Sam still didn't feel good, but I told her to try going to school for the morning and I'd see if I could get a substitute for the afternoon. I managed, and took both Sam and Hailey home at noon. At this point I suspected pink eye because both of Hailey's eyes were so bloodshot, but as it turns out, I don't think that's what she had. Thursday I managed to put in a full day at work but by the time I picked Hailey up she was complaining that her tummy hurt but she didn't want to go to the doctor on call because she didn't want to miss swimming lessons. She fell asleep on three very short drives that night, and finally fell asleep on my lap while I talked to my mom on the phone. Sam also fell asleep on the way home from swimming, then tried to curl up in the La-Z-Boy and fall asleep when we got home. I made her go upstairs, put on jammies and brush her teeth. By the time I got off the phone with my mom (around 8 pm) Rylee was the only kid still awake. I should have known at that point to book a substitute for Friday, but I thought maybe they just needed some extra sleep and that would take care of everything. Friday morning I asked Sam how she felt, and she said good, but after 10-15 minutes of arguing she still hadn't gotten out of bed to start getting dressed. I gave in, called my principal and took yesterday off too. By 9 am I had a doctor's appointment for all three kids for that morning. We picked Hailey up at school (she was well enough to go, and it was Toy Day - who wants to miss Toy Day?) and headed to the doctor. I fully expected to be told it's just a cough, caused by a virus, you just have to let it run its course, but instead was told Rylee has an ear?throat?both? infection and Sam and Hailey have pneumonia. So they're all on antibiotics now, and I'm hoping that medication + a weekend of resting will get everyone healthy enough to allow me to work next week. Ryan is still in California until next Saturday, but my dad has offered to come help me out next week if I need it.

And Ryan? Poor baby. Every day/night this week, he's told me he's still not well, still coughing, still achy. Yesterday he finally got medical attention and it turns out he has acute bronchitis. No antibiotics, but some kick-butt cough medicine that will hopefully FINALLY bring him some relief.

In the meantime, Ryan bought me a gift card to try out a day spa here in town. The card had to be used within four months, and he bought it last fall, so he finally booked the appointments for me because he wanted to be sure I actually went. Unfortunately, he booked them all while he's in California, which will present some child care issues, but dang it, I'm going!! I rescheduled one because it conflicted with swimming lessons and I couldn't get a babysitter to take them to swimming, but last night I went for a manicure. My nails are lovely now. Next week I get a pedicure, a hot stone massage, and something else, I forget what. I have also booked a babysitter for tonight so that I can get out to play hockey. Gotta take care of me, too!

Anyway, that's what's up here. I feel bad that I skipped my annual Ystavanpaiva post, talking about how fabulous my friends are. Rest assured, my friends, I think you're all fabulous and am grateful to have you in my life.

I don't remember, I don't recall...

2009-02-03T13:17:00.003-05:00

the last time an illness knocked me out of commission for three days!

It was probably inevitable. All three of the kids have been sick at some point in the past week or so, and I have ended up doing most of the caring for the sick children (please note: I did not say ALL. Ryan did some too, they just seemed to get sick when Ryan had prior commitments)

It started on Fri Jan 23. We had Rangers tickets and Sammie and I were supposed to go. However, after school, she was in bed instead of helping to clean the toy room. I told her if she was too sick to clean up she was too sick to go to the Rangers game, thinking surely that would get her out of bed, but she just went back to sleep. She developed a fever, and we realized that she really was sick. So Ryan stayed home with Sammie and Rylee, and I took Hailey to the game.

The next day Hailey woke up and said her tummy hurt. I suggested that maybe she was just hungry, or it was the result of too much sugar at the game (she ate most of a bag of cotton candy) Ryan was in a curling bonspiel that day, so I took all three of them to gymnastics (after asking Sammie how she felt, hoping she'd say she was still sick so I could sleep in!) At gymnastics, Hailey finished her class and said she was cold (which was Sam's first symptom) and her tummy hurt. She ended up falling asleep in my arms, and throwing up the minute we walked in the door from gymnastics. I spent the rest of the day checking temperatures (Sammie still had a bit of a fever, too) and checking on a sleeping Hailey to make sure she was still breathing. Sunday both girls were mostly better, and by Monday they were fine to go to school.

Ryan had a day off on the Wed, so I called home after school to remind him to turn the oven on and put dinner in. I expected to get the machine, thinking he'd be working in the basement (he's in the process of finishing our basement), and told him so when he answered. He said he'd done very little work in the basement because the babysitter had called and said Rylee was throwing up. He'd spent most of the day cuddling with her and cleaning her up when she threw up. She threw up again through the night, so I took the next day off as a family care day (bless whoever came up with those!) She seemed fine that day, no fever and no more throwing up, so on Friday, which was a PA day, I took all three of them to the sitter and went off to work.

So that night I was on the phone with a friend trying to make vacation plans when Rylee started crying. Ryan was on the couch with her and asked her if she was hurt, but she just kept crying, until she threw up. I hung up, we cleaned everything (I cleaned and changed Rylee, Ryan cleaned the couch) She threw up again the next morning, right after I said I didn't think she should go to gymnastics. She threw up again while I was gone with Sam and Hailey, so I took her to the doctor on call and sat with her on my lap for about two hours before we saw the doctor. I think that was the final straw.

On SuperBowl Sunday I woke up feeling not quite right, but not terrible. However, as the day went on, I felt worse. I could barely focus at church, and by the time we got home, I could hardly function. I tried giving myself a stern talking-to, saying, "You're not sick, you're just being lazy because you don't want to make the Key Lime pie," but the truth was, I could hardly stand upright. Sammie and Hailey pretty much made lunch for themselves and Rylee (Ryan was out buying last minute supplies for our SuperBowl party).

That day was also our priest's last day at our church, so Ryan went to the farewell celebration (I was in no condition to leave) He didn't get home in time to take Sammie and Hailey to hockey, so I did, and took Rylee with us, too. We realized we didn't have their sticks, but couldn't find them, so I figured they were in Ryan's car and maybe he was meeting us at the rink. We drove over and didn't find him. I asked if there were extra sticks, but no luck. We drove home, where Ryan told us he had just sent the sticks to the rink with friends of ours. The friends showed up back at our house shortly after, followed by another friend who was coming to the party. I sat down on the couch, barely aware of what was happening around me. My friend suggested I looked like I needed to go to bed, and I decided he was right, so I walked upstairs and did just that. That was around 4 pm, and I didn't surface until about 7:30. I walked downstairs with about 5 min to go in the first half, and most of our friends left at halftime. I then fell asleep on the couch, and finally went to bed around 9:30.

At around 11:30 that night, I heard Rylee crying. I heard Ryan walk into her room, then heard a curse word. I got up and joined him in the girls room, where I saw that Rylee had thrown up. Again. I cleaned her up, Ryan cleaned the bed up and we decided to put her in our bed for the night. At about 3 am I realized that even if I felt better, I wasn't sleeping well, so I should probably take Monday off. I woke up every time Rylee coughed, thinking she was going to throw up in my bed, but she never did. I stayed home yesterday, and since Ryan didn't have a call, he was here, too. We also kept Rylee home, just in case.

Last night I was on the phone with my sister, the nurse, who recommended one more day off. I decided that was good advice so I called in sick for today, too. This is the "I don't remember" part. I seriously don't remember the last time I even took one sick day, let alone two.

I do feel better today. My chest still hurts from coughing, but a long bath helped the aching in my hips (caused, I'm pretty sure, by all the lying around) I didn't sleep well again last night, because I was worried about Ryan missing his 8 am meeting and not getting up in time to get the girls off to school/daycare. However, I woke Ryan up at 6:05, and he left in plenty of time for his meeting, and the girls all made it to the bus stop/daycare - we were even early for the bus. I told the sitter that I'm home today if she needed to send one of the girls home, but so far, so good. So since I came home from dropping them off, I have acccomplished the following:

-checked email, Facebook and the blogs I read
-finished my book
-had a cup of tea while watching a show I recorded last night
-had a long, hot bath (with a new book)
-spent three more hours in bed, most of that sleeping
-written this blog post

Now, because I actually feel a little bit hungry, I'm going to go downstairs and have some toast and tea. I am giving myself permission to do nothing but get better today - as far as my students are concerned, I've been off for the last three days. I still feel kind of fuzzy-headed, so I think more relaxing is in order. Also more water, and maybe some food.

I'm walkin' on air

2008-12-23T00:31:00.002-05:00

Tonight at hockey the head of all the refs was watching our game for a bit because he's friends with my coach. My coach told me later that he had pointed me out to the ref and told him it was my first year playing hockey. The ref was shocked that I had never played before. He said I was doing really well.

Yeah, I pretty much rock.

But my dear, how 'bout you?

2008-11-30T21:01:00.002-05:00

Okay, so I didn't quite make every day for NaBloPoMo, but I did blog more frequently than usual - almost half of my posts for this year are in November. I will try to write more frequently, but I'm never really sure who I'm writing for or why I'm writing. If it's just for me, then I'll just write whatever I want and not worry about my "audience". But if I'm writing this for others, then is it just to keep people updated on my family? Or to share my "random neural firings" about whatever pops into my head? Or for some other reason?

There's a big storm predicted for tonight, and for a while it looked like it was going to happen, but I think the worst of it may be over already, with nowhere near the 20 - 30 cm (8 - 12 inches) that was predicted. There was hail or something for a while, but I don't think it's going to stick around long enough to give me a snow day tomorrow. Sigh. I should probably do some marking, in that case.

I watched Sam and Hailey play hockey today. Holy moly are they ever cute! Everything is big on Hailey, so Ryan tucks her jersey into her pants, and you can't even see her number. I was picking out my kids by their skates (all the kids have matching jerseys, and most of them have black pants and white, black and gold socks).

Ryan, Rylee, Hailey and my dad came to my game last night. Ryan said he could really tell how much I'd improved in the short time I've been playing, which was nice to hear. I had a good game last night, so it was a good one for them to come to. I like when the coach is able to make it (he missed a few games due to the death of one of his parents) because he doesn't just say, "Good shift, D'Arcy." He tells me what I did right and why it was a good shift. If I did something wrong, someone on the team will usually let me know (in a nice way).

Sammie brought home her first term report card on Friday. She earned A's in everything except phys ed and art or music, I forget which, both of which were B+, if I remember correctly. Her learning skills (things like homework completion, cooperation with others, goal setting, etc) were all Excellent or Good. We're very proud of her.

I have nothing interesting going on in my head, so I think I should end this here.

I'm going slightly mad

2008-11-24T22:55:00.002-05:00

That was my first thought upon shovelling all that snow I was rhapsodizing about in my last post. It's the only logical explanation.

Now I'm going slightly mad dealing with report cards. I handed them in last week, and got them back today with my administrator's comments. Why couldn't she read them before I handed them in for the final merge? I just want to be DONE with the darn things and now they're back to haunt me again. I've made the changes she suggested, and don't get me wrong, they were valid comments and I agree with the changes she suggested. I've just had enough of the stupid things. Now I get to prepare for report card fallout - they go home next Monday, and then parent-teacher interviews are on the following Thurs/Fri.

THAT should be fun. If I'm still only slightly mad after that, I will be happy.

Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow

2008-11-19T20:17:00.002-05:00

I have just come to a rather startling realization. I just put the girls to bed, and was walking into the office to sit and finish up report cards. I looked outside at the snowy scene that will be my reality for the next few months (unless it suddenly gets warm again) and I realized that I love this weather. Not the white out blizzardy type weather, but nights when it's all white and quiet outside and snuggly and full of love inside. I don't think I could ever permanently live somewhere that didn't have snowy winters. If we ever do move to California, I think I will acutally really miss the snow.

Who knew?

Goin' to the chapel

2008-11-16T13:35:00.003-05:00

Just a quick post while writing report cards - my baby sister called last night to say her boyfriend proposed! No date is set, as they have made a pact not to discuss a wedding for six months and just enjoy being engaged. Whatever. Probably sometime next year.

Congratulations Meaghen and Ryan!

Time keeps on slippin', slippin'...

2008-11-15T13:28:00.002-05:00

Okay, well, I've missed a bunch more days. I'm here now.

We've set up Rylee's "big girl bed" in Sam and Hailey's room, so all three of them are sharing a room now. The room formerly known as the nursery is going to be a toy room. Rylee's bed is a toddler bed that looks like a train. We bought it when Sam was getting ready to move from the crib to a bed, and Hailey was coming soon to take over the crib, not that she slept in it for the first few months. When we told Sam and Hailey we were going to set up the train bed again, both girls started talking about how much they loved that little train bed, it was their favourite. This is proof that they have no memory of anything before the age of 2 or 3. Sam slept in the bed for a little while, but she soon decided she preferred the "big bed" (a futon) that was also in her room. When Hailey moved out of the crib, we tried to put her in the train bed in Sammie's room, but she wanted to sleep with Sammie, so it was the big bed for her, too. Happily, Rylee seems to like the new bed. Last night she didn't get out of bed once (that I heard, anyway)

It's report card season. First draft is due on Monday, and I have a fair amount of marking downstairs. I was all caught up and ready to start reports, but I wasn't counting on the students at my new school being near psychotic when it comes to marks. One grade 8 student almost got down on bended knee to ask if he could do some other writing assessment, because his mother would shoot him if he came home with the mark he had currently earned. It was a B+!!!!! So, I caved and gave all the gr 8's an optional assignment which they could use to bring up their reading mark, writing mark or both.

I have learned that if I don't get my caffeine until noon, I'm cranky.

I also decided this week to stop feeling sorry for myself that I haven't gotten close to anyone on staff at my new school yet. There is another teacher who is new to the school who hasn't really bonded with anyone else either, so this week I decided to make the effort to connect with her. We chatted a bit, shared chocolate and coffee, and I think I've made a new friend. I knew she was a graduate of the same teacher training program as me, but I found out this week that she went to the same university that I did for the mandatory third-year-at-a-francophone-university, and even lived in the same residence.

Today is the first time we've attempted to get Rylee to nap in the big girl bed. It doesn't sound like it's going very well. I should probably go look into that, then go do some schoolwork. And drink some more tea. It's chilly and raining here today, so tea is definitely in order.

I remember

2008-11-11T22:41:00.003-05:00

Today is Remembrance Day. For as long as I have been teaching, I have cried at Remembrance Day ceremonies. Today was no exception. I was doing pretty well until the little speech after The Last Post - the one that starts, "They shall not grow old, as we who are left grow old..." At my grandmother's funeral, when a member of the Canadian Women's Army Corps started to read that passage, she broke down. She explained that that was always the part my grandmother read at other funerals.

Let me back up. When I started teaching, in 1998, Remembrance Day was a reminder that my grandmother and grandfather both served in WWII. The next year, a friend started dating a military man. She married him in 2002. In 2005, my grandfather passed away. In 2007, my grandmother passed away. Also in 2007, my sister-in-law married an army man, and in January of 2008 both he and my friend's husband were sent to Afghanistan. Thankfully, they both came home safely, but it's a lot to process each November 11.

I remember learning about conscription when I was in grade 10. I remember thinking that 18 was plenty old enough to go overseas and fight. Then the Persian Gulf conflict broke out when I was in grade 12. I had friends who were 18, and the thought of them going off to fight was horrifying. Some of my classmates said they were going to enlist as soon as they turned 18, and I thought they were far too young to make that kind of decision, that kind of commitment. Now, in my 30's, I look at my brother-in-law, who is 22, and think _he_ is far too young to be serving overseas. And then you realize that boys even younger were lying about their age and serving in WWI and WWII.

I was discussing the words to In Flanders Fields with my homeroom, and explaining that those who died are asking us in that poem to continue their struggle. One student asked why, if we're supposed to be promoting peace, we would agree to continue that struggle. I asked the students what they thought, but they couldn't come up with an explanation (one student went so far as to say that there is no quarrel to be taken up anymore). To me, we agree to take up the quarrel because there are those who insist on quarreling. As long as people are willing to take away basic human rights from other people, as long as people are willing to maim and kill in the name of country or religion, we have to be prepared to stand up to them. We have to continue to struggle against injustice. Standing by and allowing it to happen is the same as perpetrating the injustice ourselves.

Today, even more than usual, I am grateful to those who chose, and who continue to choose, to risk their lives to fight against what is wrong, and to protect the freedom we enjoy in my country.

At the going down of the sun, and in the morning,
We will remember them.

Yesterday came suddenly

2008-11-07T14:11:00.002-05:00

... and went suddenly too! I meant to post last night, but by the time I got the littlest monster to bed, I was toast. T-O-S-T-E, toast, as a friend of mine used to say. We're going to set up the toddler bed this weekend, I think, and then at least I won't be worried about her climbing out and breaking a limb.

So anyway, Ryan will be home tonight. Yay. Today is a PD Day, and we have the option of working off site for the afternoon. I went out for a working lunch at a coffee place (I sat and marked while I ate and drank my mochaccino) I still have some work to do, but will post again later. I'll try to make it something more than, "Here's what I did today."

Someone took a doody in my sandbox

2008-11-05T23:43:00.002-05:00

It really is a song lyric. I don't remember the name of the song but Daph will.

Today was marginally better, but only marginally. I dropped the girls off early at the sitter so I could take the van for an oil change. I just missed the shuttle, so I had to wait for the next one, and therefore ended up being 10 min late for work. I called to warn them, so there was someone to cover my class, but honestly, you'd think that dropping my vehicle off at 8 am would allow me to get to work, a 10 min drive away, by 8:40. Not so.

After school, the shuttle picked me up, I picked up the van and drove home, then walked to get the kids. We got home, I made dinner while Sammie did her homework and then played outside with Hailey and a friend. I was so pleased because we got the homework taken care of before I took Sam and Hailey to a friend's house while I took Rylee to swimming lessons. We got away from the house on time, I dropped the girls off, Rylee and I were on the pool deck at 6:28 for a 6:30 class. During the lesson the instructor asked me to remind her of Rylee's name. I told her what it was, and after class she pointed to Rylee's name on a list and asked if that was her. I said, "Yep, that's her." She said, "Yeah, she's actually in the 6:00 class." I'm pretty sure that at some point we made it to a 6:00 class, but I know a couple of weeks ago when I was out of town on a Wed night, I helped Ryan make arrrangements for the same friend to watch Sammie and Hailey, and arranged for him to drop them off at 6:10. So Carrie, if you read this, next time we ask you to babysit during Rylee's swimming lesson, if I say the lesson's at 6:30, smack me upside the head.

Anyway, we came home, I put Rylee to bed, she was being quiet, and I thought all was well. I had put her in pyjamas after swimming, hoping she'd fall asleep in the car, but that didn't happen. Then, as I was reading the bedtime story to Sammie and Hailey, Rylee started coming down the stairs. So much for my hope she'd forget she figured out how to do that. So, we put the big girls to bed, then I sat with Rylee in the rocking chair and rocked her for a while. At about 9 pm I was able to put her down, and she's been in bed ever since.

I was just talking to somebody at work about how just when you think you've got everything under control, it all falls spectacularly apart. That's what today was like. Just when I thought I was getting a handle on things, I find out I've been taking Rylee to the wrong swimming lesson. And then she refuses to go to sleep again.

So, the dishwasher got emptied, two loads of laundry got folded, another one went through the machines (diapers - we were getting low), and some marking got done. It's not everything I was hoping to accomplish, but it's a start. AND I posted again, so I at least seem to have a handle on NaBloPoMo. If nothing else, my misadventures this week are giving me something to write about!

Help! I need somebody!

2008-11-04T23:17:00.003-05:00

I almost went to bed without blogging, but then remembered I'm doing NaBloPoMo. This was a terrible night. I went to the visitation for C after school, which is not a great way to start an evening. When I tried to call my dad to wish him happy birthday he wasn't home, so I chatted with my mom. By the time we got off the phone it was past Rylee's bedtime, so she was wired and over-tired and went hysterical. Called my dad, the girls sang happy birthday, put the big girls to bed. I went into my room and heard Hailey talking to Rylee. I came out fully prepared to get angry with her for getting out of bed and going into Rylee's room, when I saw Rylee standing in the hall beside Hailey. She had climbed out of her crib.

At this point I did what any self-respecting, independent woman would do. I called my mommy.

At Mom's suggestion, I took Rylee downstairs and put on a Baby Einstein, while I fought with the crib to figure out how to lower the mattress. After a series of events that I'm sure I'll find funny someday, I finally got it lowered. I cuddled Rylee, kissed her and put her to bed amid loud protests.

Can you see where this is going? A minute or two later she was staring at me from the middle of the hallway. And by this point I had moved the footstool that was just outside her crib, so she managed to get over the side rail and then lower herself all the way to the floor.

Naturally, I called my mommy again.

I put Baby Einstein back on and had something to eat (it was after 10 pm and I hadn't had dinner yet) Then I brought Rylee upstairs and rocked her to sleep. When I put her down in the crib she opened her eyes and looked at me, but all she said was, "Want blanket." So I got her one and walked quietly out. It's been about half an hour now and there's no sign of her, so I think she's down for the night.

I have four class sets of marking to do, about three loads of laundry to fold and put away, the dishwasher needs to be emptied, the counter is full of dishes and a load of clothes needs to go from the washer to the dryer. I will get the clothes into the dryer but the rest will have to wait.

In addition to the regular hockey (me), swimming lessons (Rylee) and skating lessons (Sam, Hailey) this week, we had/have two after school meetings (me), hockey pictures (Sam, Hailey), an oil change/service appointment (van) and visitation for C (me).

This was maybe not the best week for Ryan to go away. At least there's lots of chocolate around.

When the dog bites, when the bee stings

2008-11-03T23:03:00.002-05:00

Last Friday, when most kids her age were excited about trick or treating, counting down until they could start the festivities, little T was at the hospital waiting to hear if her sister was going to be okay. At about 5:45, when other kids were getting their costumes on and planning their routes, T got the news that her only sister had died.

I wish this was the germ of an idea for a novel for NaNoWriMo, but it's the true story of one of my former students. I taught T for four years at my last school. Her older sister had a stroke five years ago, the year before I arrived at the school. If I understand correctly, she had another one on Friday and didn't survive this one.

I can't even imagine this family's pain right now. The parents split up some time ago, and they had just the two daughters, T and C. Now C is gone. And every year, on Hallowe'en, the ghosts will be all too real for T.

C was only 12. T is in grade five. Both far too young.

Raindrops on roses

2008-11-02T15:32:00.004-05:00

The title has nothing to do with this post - I just couldn't come up with an appropriate song lyric. Suggestions are welcome in the comments.

Welcome to NaBloPoMo - National Blog Posting Month. I have decided to follow Daph's example and take on the challenge. I would love to think I could take on NaNoWriMo - National Novel Writing Month - but I just don't think I have it in me. I'll leave that one to Em. For this year, at least. This means I'm supposed to post every day this month. I know, I missed yesterday. I only decided today to take it on. I'm cutting myself some slack and starting today.

On Friday, I gave two of my grade eight classes a test. This week, the other three classes get their tests, plus all three grade seven classes will be handing in an assignment. I really need to get all my marking done this weekend so I'm not overwhelmed again, like I was when I had all five grade eight classes (average class size: 30 students) hand in a writing assignment on pretty much the same day. I'm posting now just so that I have posted something, and will attempt a better post later, if I have time. I had hoped to leave you with some Halloween adorableness, but I still don't know where the cable is to upload pictures from the camera.

Ryan is off to Calgary for the work week tomorrow morning. I'm so looking forward to five days of single parenting. How do people do this on a full-time basis?

Long time passing

2008-10-31T22:52:00.002-04:00

Okay, here is the long-overdue update on the family.

Rylee, the wee one, is too cute for words. She is two now, and chatting up a storm, although we only understand about half of what she says. She is in swimming lessons and gymnastics, both parent and tot programs. I've only taken her to swimming once, but she did pretty well that one time. Daddy took her to the rest and says she's improving. One of the things we did was to jump off the side into Mommy's arms. I counted to three, then she "jumped" to me and I put her in the water. The other night as I was giving her a bath, she put her rubber duckies on the edge of the tub, counted to three ("Two...fee...") then had them "jump" into the water. This was followed by what I choose to believe was, "You did it!" Like I said, too cute for words. She goes to the sitter every day and does very well there - she seems to have fun, but is always happy to see me when I come pick her up. The dog comes running to the door as soon as he realizes I'm there. Wee one runs after the dog, calling, "Mommy here!" When the door opens, she gives me a big grin and says, "Hi Mom." When I ask for kisses I get them about half the time. She sleeps well, usually eats pretty well, and has just started sitting on her potty - I think she realized she gets cheers when she does, so she does it over and over and doesn't want to stop. Also, she seems to think she has to be naked to sit on the potty.

Hailey, the middle child, started school this fall, and absolutely loves it. Almost every morning she asks, "Do I go to school today?" (JK and SK here go all day every other day - either Mon/Wed/alt Fri or Tues/Thurs/alt Fri) and gets pouty if the answer is no. She's learning her letters and can recognize at least a half dozen now by sight, and more by sound. She knows H for sure! She is also in gymnastics, which she greatly enjoys, and started hockey a couple of weeks ago. The first session did not go well - she hated it and complained before, during and after. Last week I took the big girls to a public skate and she didn't do so well there, either - crying and complaining most of the time. The next day she went to hockey again, and came up positively aglow. "Mommy, I was so fast, I was so good, I love hockey!" According to her daddy, she definitely wasn't fast - she's probably the slowest skater out there - but she had fun and now says she wants to keep playing hockey again and again and again. She also started skating lessons this week. I was FLOORED at the difference from the kid I took skating to the kid who was at skating lessons this week. She wants to skate all the time now. She is still a drama queen, and has quite a temper, thought not as much as her little sister.

Samantha, our big girl, is in school full-time now, which saves a considerable amount on day care, which has me looking forward eagerly to Hailey starting school full time :) She was named Star of the Week last week, for being a great leader in her class and showing excellent learning skills. We found out through a phone call from the principal, which was cool. She is also in gymnastics, hockey and skating lessons. She moved up a level in gymnastics this year, just because she's too old for Kindergym, so her class is now 2 hours. She enjoys it, but her real passion is hockey (and we can't figure out where she gets that from!) Ryan says she's definitely improved since last year, and has lost none of her love of the game. At skating lessons this week she was probably the best skater on the ice. I'm hoping that will boost her confidence, which will then help her improve even faster. She is a sweet, sweet kid, so kind, and smarter than any kid her age needs to be. Tonight we tried to convince Hailey to give her little pumpkin from her class trip to the pumpkin patch to Rylee, but she refused. I said, "So you get two and Rylee doesn't get any?" Sammie piped up, "Mommy, if Hailey won't let Rylee have hers, she can have mine."

Ryan doesn't like me to write about him on my blog, so I won't.

I started at a new school this fall. I think after almost moving to California last spring I decided I needed a fresh start, a new challenge, some kind of change. Honestly, I think I had sort of latched onto the idea of moving to California as a chance to re-invent myself. When the move fell through, I decided to make a new start here by switching schools. Most days, I think it was a pretty good decision, but it's been a big adjustment. The new school is much larger, with a much larger staff, which has taken some getting used to. One of the teachers is from my hometown and it was nice to have that connection with someone to start off. It's also much more multicultural, which I've loved. We had a Say Hi day at the beginning of October, and my class was able to cover the white board saying hi in many languages. In my homeroom alone, I have kids from Brazil, Germany, China, Korea and a few middle Eastern countries.

Anyway, I think I needed a change, and while I haven't loved every minute of it, I think it's been good for me. I also started hockey this year, as I mentioned in a previous post. My team is 3-3-1, I think. I'm getting better each game - last time I could actually tell what I was doing well/right. I play once or twice per week, so it gets me out of the house and gets me some exercise. Beyond work, hockey and my family, I don't have time for a whole lot else - a few Rangers games, some reading, hoping to go see High School Musical 3 soon (yes, I'm serious)... yep, I think that's it.

*********************************************

I found out last week that one of my former students, who has been battling cancer for four or five years now, probably only has a few weeks left. We've thought he was close before, but from what I've heard, this time is different. He's a real fighter, and still says he's not ready to give up, so it may be a little longer, but not much.

He's nine years old.

********************************************

And with that, I believe I have brought anyone who is interested up to date. I apologize, but make no promises that I'm going to change :)

It's the best game you can name

2008-09-29T23:39:00.002-04:00

I am one big ear-to-ear grin right now.

It's almost midnight and I'm too keyed up to go to bed. I played my first hockey game tonight. I LOVED it!!! I wasn't that good, but I wasn't that bad, either. I have a lot to learn, skills-wise and strategy-wise, but oh man, it was fun. The women on my team are a lot of fun, which should make for a good season. Our goalie made some highlight-reel saves, which bodes well. But the most important thing is that I had a lot of fun, EVEN THOUGH I WASN'T GOOD. There's a life lesson I needed - you don't have to be good at something to do it in public and enjoy it. I have given myself permission to be terrible (and I don't think I was), it's my first time playing, for heaven's sake, so it's okay to just go out there, do the best I can, and have fun along the way. And I DEFINITELY had fun.

More updates on the family later. I just had to write about how excited I am, how much fun I had and how much I love the good old hockey game :)

It's the most wonderful time of the year...

2008-09-01T21:51:00.002-04:00

...depending on who you ask! Tomorrow is the first day of school for my school board. Most of my friends have mixed emotions about it, as some of them have kids starting school for the very first time, and others are happy to have the kids out of their hair on a regular basis. My friend Carrie and I have wildly fluctuating emotions as we are both teachers and both mothers with daughters entering gr 1 and starting JK this year.

I have to admit to being nervous about tomorrow. I'm starting at a new school which will be very different from my last one, much more multicultural than any school I've ever taught at. Also, I'm teaching just gr 7 and 8 French (with one period of gr 3/4 math, taught in French). I love teaching gr 7 and 8, and love teaching French, but really, it's not the easiest age group to work with when you're teaching them something they WANT to be learning.

I applied for this transfer, and I'm not sorry, but I'm still a little nervous. I'm going to go soak in the tub to relax, then go to bed a little early (well, early compared to when I've been getting to bed lately) and try to get a good night's sleep. To all the nervous parents, teachers and kiddles out there, I wish you a peaceful night and a fabulous day tomorrow.

I want to thank you, show my gratitude

2008-08-28T15:02:00.002-04:00

A lot of really great things have happened in my extended family in the past three years.

My cousin Ami got married and gave birth to a healthy baby girl.

My aunt Nancy got married (maybe a little more than three years ago, I forget now) and gave birth to a healthy baby girl, followed by a healthy baby boy.

My cousin Dave got married and became the father of a healthy baby boy.

My cousin Nikki gave birth to a baby boy who started off with some health issues but is thriving now.

My cousin Jody got engaged and gave birth to a healthy baby girl.

I gave birth to a healthy baby girl.

My cousin Kevin got married and became a (step)father.

My sister, Meaghen, met and fell in love with a wonderful man, who loves her to bits.

I mention all of this because it's easy to get bogged down in focusing on the negative. Once you start doing that it's a downward spiral of, "Why me/us? Life sucks!" A lot of crap has befallen my extended family in the last few years, too - the loss of both of my grandparents, stillbirths, miscarriages, heart attacks, etc. I'm not giving a detailed list because my cousins and I have decided we need to stay positive and supportive. I want to focus on what's good in my life and in the lives of the people I love.

Yesterday my uncle, my mom's youngest brother, was given a diagnosis of stage 4 mantle cell lymphoma. It's in his spleen, his groin and the lymph nodes in his neck. He has a wife and 10 year old daughter, plus of course a huge extended family. I've asked this before, but please pray to whatever higher power you believe in for my uncle, aunt and cousin.

And try to focus on the good in your life.

Wake me up when September ends

2008-08-17T22:02:00.002-04:00

Okay, so where have I been? Well, not at home. I have been home for three weeks since the end of June, and not all in a row. Here's a quick recap of my summer so far:

First weekend of July: Peterborough
First week of July: home
Next two weeks: California (without the kids!)
Next week: home
Next week: Peterborough (lots of hanging by the pool while my dad chased the kids)
Next week: home
Then: cottage near Tobermory (with lots of in-laws to help watch the kids)
This past weekend: Petrolia (for Terpcathalon, for which Rylee behaved this time)

Details will follow. The California trip was amazing - Ryan had a course and since we were able to pawn off the kids on our parents (each set took a week) I tagged along and spent some time with him and some with the wonderful Miss Daphne. Photos to follow maybe. My cousin Christine, who lives in BC, made it back to Ontario, so I got to hang with her and my sister while I was in Peterborough. The annual gathering at my mom and dad's on the August long weekend was better attended than the last few years, and was a lot of fun. Tobermory was fabulous, as always, and we did some great diving. The water wasn't as cold as it's been some years (a balmy 55F at about 90 ft)

Now I'm trying to wrap my head around the idea that my summer holiday is almost over, and start thinking about school. I also need to clean my house and get some groceries. Wish me luck.

The times they are a-changin'

2008-06-11T22:29:00.002-04:00

I knew I couldn't do it.

A couple of years ago I told my students that I planned to stay at the school until my first class of gr 1 (at that school) graduated from grade 8. They're finishing up gr 4 now. I won't be there when they start gr 5.

Last week an internal posting went out that included an opening for pretty much my ideal job - only gr 7 and 8, full time, still teaching French, at a K-8 school, and it's even closer to home than the school I'm at now (4.2 km to my current 6.6 km commute) It doesn't get much better than that, so even though I've been very happy at my current school, I took a deep breath and applied. The posting closed on Thurs, and I knew the principals had until Tues to let HR know if the posting was filled, so I figured I'd hear something on Fri and have an interview Mon. As it turns out, that's exactly how it went, except that during the course of the phone call the principal informed me that I was the only person to have applied! So I went in on Mon to meet with the principal. She told me about the school, about herself and her expectations, the community, etc. By the end of it she hadn't scared me off, but I needed some time to think it over, because I've been so happy at my current school. She was supposed to call by about 4 pm to get my answer, and by the time I took the girls to gymnastics at 5:45, she hadn't called. We got home a little after 7 and there was a message, saying she wanted to chat with me. My heart dropped. I was convinced that she was calling to say that upon reflection, she didn't think that I would be a good fit at the school and she wanted to keep looking. "Holy moly," I thought. "I'm glad I didn't tell too many people about this. I would feel like such a loser if I had to tell the whole staff that I was the only one to apply and I still didn't get the job!" And in those 15 or 20 minutes between hearing the message and calling the principal back, when I thought the job wasn't mine, I realized how much I wanted it. So when I called, and she asked if I had made a decision, I said if she still wanted me I wanted the job. She sounded surprised, but said yes, she definitely still wanted me, she would be thrilled to have me and thought I would be a great addition to the staff. Sooo...long story short(er), I am changing schools. I am very excited, but sad to be leaving a school with an incredibly caring and supportive staff, a school where I have been very happy.

In other news, I have been more literally nit-picky than usual lately. I received a call at work on Friday from the sitter saying she had found something in all three girls' hair that she was pretty sure was lice. Rylee had sat down in the sitter's lap and she noticed a bug, but thought it was something that had flown in there when we walked over that morning. When she found another one, though, she got suspicious and checked everyone's heads. All of my girls had it, but no other kids did. We think Hailey picked it up in Holland (my sister-in-law had it while Hailey was there, and one of the houses she visited was apparently infested) and passed it on to her sisters. Let me tell you, you haven't had fun until you've tried to go through the hair of a 20 month old looking for lice! We were finally able to check and remove them all when she fell asleep on my shoulder - I held her while Ryan picked. Thank goodness my parents were here - Ryan had been in Montreal most of the week, and didn't get back until about 7:30 Fri night. My mom started (and finished) my laundry while my dad vacuumed and I washed, combed and looked through the girls' hair. It has been a long haul, but I think we've got it all now.

Then I got sick on Sunday, and report cards were due Monday, and Ryan left Sunday night to go back to Montreal (he's home tomorrow) and, well, it's just been busy. I am SO grateful that it's almost summer holidays. Oh, and Rylee is officially off the bottle now, so she's been a real joy to get to bed each night (note heavy sarcasm). Hailey gets up pretty much every night now and tells me she can't sleep, so it's 10:00 sometimes before she falls asleep, and then it's rather difficult to wake her on time in the morning. We all need a break around here, I think. And yet here I am, posting at almost 11 pm because I have to stay up long enough to get my laundry into the dryer.

And with that, I think I'll check my email...

A taste of honey

2008-05-12T23:21:00.003-04:00

Sammie made me breakfast in bed again today - a honey sandwich. And this time, she made one for each of us, "so we don't have to share." Fortunately, the girls ended up eating mine. At some point I did manage to suggest that maybe next time she could make a peanut butter sandwich for me.

It's [my] day... [Mother's] Day...

2008-05-11T22:24:00.004-04:00

(...with apologies to Peter Gabriel for paraphrasing his lyrics...I couldn't think of any song lyrics that referenced moms...feel free to suggest your own in the comments...)

My Mother's Day started by waking up and realizing I'd had 8 uninterrupted hours of sleep. No, this is not my fantasy of a perfect Mother's Day, it's what actually happened. I was smart enough to go to bed at a reasonable hour last night (unlike tonight, apparently) and the girls didn't wake up until about 7:30.

**Back up for a minute. Sammie wanted to have a sleepover with one of her friends last night. I said no, but told her she could sleep in my bed with me. I turned off the alarm because I didn't want to wake up at 6 am on my only day to sleep later than that this week (Sam had soccer at 8 AM yesterday so we were up early), but Sam said she wanted to wake up at 6:00. I told her she could get up whenever she wanted as long as she didn't wake Mommy up before 7:30, and that her body would tell her when she needed to wake up. She said okay, but she wanted to get up before me because, "I have a whole lot of things...what am I saying? Nothing. I don't have anything to do."

So Sammie got out of bed at 7:30, and I stayed in bed for a few more minutes. I could hear her downstairs, then I heard Rylee fussing in her crib. I got up to get Rylee and as I was coming out of her room I saw Sam at the top of the stairs. She told me to get back in bed, so I did, and she came in with her little Dora tray and said, "Breakfast in bed!" She had the cutest look on her face, a sweet little proud smile. On the tray was a honey heart sandwich (a sandwich for which the honey has been poured in a heart shape) Now, I don't actually like honey sandwiches, but how could I look at that little girl, so proud of herself for doing this on her own and so happy to have done something nice for her mommy, and tell her I didn't like the sandwich she'd made? I did the only thing I could do. I gave her a great big hug and kiss, thanked her and told her I loved her, and ate the sandwich (actually, I only ate part of it - I shared it with the girls)

After we ate the sandwich Sammie asked me when it was present time. I told her it was whenever she wanted, so she left the room and came back with the bag that we'd brought back from my mom and dad's last weekend, the one I was supposed to give to her when we got home so she could put it somewhere safe. I opened the bag and found a card and a pretty box. On the card were three little cartoon figures, which my mom had named Sam, Hailey and Rylee, and inside Sammie had written a little message and signed all three girls names. In the box were a necklace and matching earrings. This is my best attempt at a picture of me, still wearing them with my pyjamas because I don't want to take them off.

After the gift, we went downstairs, where I made some more breakfast and some tea and Sammie gave me a craft she'd made at school.

The rest of the day was pretty ordinary - nail clipping, bath for Sammie (Rylee had one last night), church, lunch, skating lessons. Hailey (and Ryan) sent me Mother's Day greetings via email - a simple little message that made me cry (%@$ PMS!) Rylee has given me the presents you'd expect from an 18 month old - some kisses, some cuddles, some hysterical laughter at the silly games I play with her, and of course, some poop in her diaper. And my dad didn't even change that one for me as a Mother's Day gift!

Dad is here because the woman who usually watches the girls during the day lost her grandmother last week and the funeral is tomorrow. I was hoping he'd stay till Tuesday so I didn't have to get a sitter for the Rangers game tomorrow night, but he has work to do on Tuesday so he's leaving tomorrow.

Anyway, here's to all the mothers out there, and to everyone who is spending Mother's Day without their mom (I'm thinking of my mom and her siblings here, as this is their first Mother's Day without their beloved mom - we miss you Mim!)

On my own

2008-05-05T22:26:00.002-04:00

I know some of my friends read this blog at least partly to know what's going on with my family, so when I post about stuff like SNL, it doesn't tell them much :) So here is an update-y, newsy type post.

Ryan and Hailey are in the Netherlands. Ryan's sister is working there for 8 months, so Ryan, Hailey and Ryan's parents went over for a visit. Hailey got to go because a)she's old enough to remember the trip (maybe) b)she's young enough not to be missing school while she's there and c)she's named after a relative who lives there and who has lung cancer. This may be the only chance they get to meet. They've been gone almost a week and are having a good time, from the sounds of it. Hailey is learning some Dutch and making friends everywhere she goes (no surprise to anyone who knows Hailey). They're back next week.

Sammie has been sick for almost a week, first throwing up and then, well, out the other end. Poor little thing missed two days of school last week (and consequently, so did I). Yesterday was the first day without diarrhea since Thursday. She's feeling much better now. She missed her first soccer game on Saturday because we were at my mom and dad's but is looking forward to starting this weekend. She's also still in gymnastics, and skating lessons as well. She loves to do crafts - it's just about the only centre she ever goes to at school - and is always cutting and pasting and making things for us. She made a poster which she put up in her room that says, "Family, your my BFF." I took her to the Rangers game last Wed and we had a lot of fun together.

Rylee is getting big - my mom and my sister said she looks like an entirely different kid from the one who was there on March Break. She has nine teeth now, I think, including a molar, and a big big smile and loves to chatter away in her own little language. She still loves her dollies and stuffed animals. She's getting to the stage where she doesn't want to sit and cuddle, she wants to go go go, except at bedtime. I still get cuddles and kisses at bedtime.

Ryan is still working (except not right now, of course, since he's in the Netherlands) and playing lots of hockey. Our ball team starts up again next week, and I think he's thinking of playing soccer this year. He played last year for a month or so until he tore a muscle in his calf and had to stop. He's been told there's a good chance he'll eventually tear the other one in half as well, so I'm not sure I want him to play soccer, but it's not my decision.

And as for me...also still working, still enjoying it immensely. I love teaching. As I said, ball starts again next week, so that'll get me out of the house every once in a while. I've also sent in my registration to play in a recreational hockey league next winter! Ryan's cousin plays and has assured me that there are women at all levels of ability, so I won't be a the only beginner out there. I'm looking forward to it, I think. I'm also looking forward to dive season starting back up. I've been reading a lot, and just bought a book about beading, which I'm hoping to get into.

As I mentioned, I was at my mom and dad's this weekend. Nice and relaxing for me, because my parents pretty much completely take over the child care, and my mom does all the cooking, so I don't have much to worry about. It was especially nice given that Sammie was sick and Ryan is out of the country.

This morning I realized my fridge and freezer weren't working. I called the place we bought it from, and they're sending someone out tomorrow to look at it. In the meantime, two different neighbours kindly took in the contents of my fridge and freezer and made room for them in their appliances. It was SUCH a pain to get everything all packed up and take it over to the neighbours, and then feed the girls and get Sammie to gymnastics. I really have no idea how single parents do this on a regular basis. I think I say that every time Ryan goes away but it's true - I have an incredible amount of respect for people who do this, and do it well, on a regular basis.

Anything else you'd like to know?

Am I the only one...

2008-05-01T12:40:00.003-04:00

...who thinks Christopher Walken was TERRIBLE on SNL a few weeks ago? I was going to blog about it then, but didn't, then it was on again recently, and I was struck again by how terrible it was. It was like he was so drunk he couldn't remember a line to save his life, so he read everything from the TelePrompTer. Thank goodness he wasn't too out of it to read! I don't know if he was actually drunk or if something else was going on, but it was definitely not his best performance.

...who thinks it's a bad sign when Ashton Kutcher is much better on SNL than Christopher Walken? Now HE was good. I didn't see all of the show the night he hosted, but what I saw was good. I always enjoy watching him play something other than Kelso - he's actually a pretty good actor.

...who would really like to see Amy Poehler play a character, not a caricature? I find that almost every role she plays, on SNL or in movies, is someone who is just so over-the-top that they couldn't possibly be a real person. I don't think it takes much talent to do unbelievable. I think it takes talent to play a character and make the audience believe in that character. I think she has the talent, but I can't be sure because I've never really seen her try. It sort of seems like she doesn't want to get parts because she's a pretty blonde, so she goes out of her way NOT to be the ingenue/pretty girl. Which is admirable, but I'm tired of the schtick. Be a person, Amy.

...who absolutely LOVES Jennifer Weiner? I wasn't crazy about her collection of short stories, but I love love LOVED Good in Bed, Certain Girls and Little Earthquakes. I find her books to be entertaining and escapist without insulting my intelligence. She may be classified as chick-lit, but it's not trash.

...who sits down to blog and forgets what she was going to blog about?

Where have you gone, Joe DiMaggio?

2008-02-11T08:57:00.001-05:00

Oops.

I said I was going to take more time for stuff like blogging, then fell off the face of the blogosphere. It's just been a little crazy around here. Kids were sick, then really sick, then I was sick, there was a SuperBowl (and a party that didn't happen because the wee one had what might have been chicken pox, and just about everyone who was going to come to the party couldn't be exposed to chicken pox), and I don't really remember what else. Many, many books :) I got lots for Christmas and have taken lots of my own time to read them. I am now officially one of Jennifer Weiner's biggest fans (I highly recommend Little Earthquakes). I received her first book, Good in Bed, for Christmas and it's the only one of my Christmas books I haven't read yet. I'm trying to put it off because the sequel is coming out in April, and I'd like to read them back to back. I've been inspired by Daph, so I'm hoping to hit the library today and pick up some of the books she's read lately.

Library, you say? But it's Monday. Shouldn't you be at school? For that matter, why are you posting at 9 am on a Monday? I was getting ready this morning, had already showered and put one contact lens in, when I thought I heard Ryan call me from the bedroom. I paused, but didn't hear him, and Sam, who was watching me, said she didn't hear him. Then I heard him again, went into the room and lo and behold, he's holding out the phone, saying, "Phone. School's cancelled." I was shocked. I checked the weather forecast last night and thought there might possibly be a snow day on Tuesday or Wednesday, but not today. I love snow days on Mondays because I don't have planning time on Mondays. Also, I had pretty much nothing ready for today because I was in Quebec City last week with the gr 8's, didn't get back until 9 pm Friday and had nothing at home with me to plan for today.

The trip, by the way, was fabulous. I'm a big fan of making your big trip in the middle of the year. This is something I learned in high school. A trip like this one is a bonding experience, for everyone who goes. There is a lot you can do with a group that has bonded like that, and it's a shame to not have that experience until May or June and be limited as to what you can do with it. In high school, our senior band always went on a big tour through the US in March. We'd come back a different group, and the band director learned way before I got there that if you could get the kids bonded earlier in the year, it made for a better band. So he had all of us out to his house out in the boonies for a weekend in October, where we did trust exercises and group-building stuff and it was amazing. I loved that weekend almost as much as I loved the tours.

So now I have this whole day in front of me, all to myself. Ryan is at work out of town (just for the day, not an overnight trip or anything) and since the schools in town are still open and buses in town are still running, I don't even have to go pick Sammie up and take her to school this afternoon. I have a huge list of things I want to accomplish today - library, groceries, some cleaning - but first, breakfast.

These five words I swear to you

2008-01-05T00:08:00.001-05:00

It's the year of less.

Less weight, less clutter, less procrastination, less giving up what's important to me. I was really inspired by my friend Emily's blog and did some real thinking about what my resolutions should be this year. I'm about to sit down and make a plan, in writing and everything, but here's the gist of it.

First, less weight. I am not happy with my body and I don't think I'm all that healthy either, so I have a plan now to get more exercise and eat better.

Less clutter - Ryan and I were talking the other day and agreed that where we live doesn't feel like home, to either of us. So I am going to go through the house, methodically, and get rid of things we really don't want/need/use. I have always had a hard time with this, because I feel guilty giving things away that were gifts or were passed down to me. Now, I have decided that what I should feel guilty about is having all this stuff that I don't even use, when so many people have so much less. And maybe once I've cleared out what isn't us, I'll be able to bring in some little things that do reflect the family living here.

As for the last part, I am going to stop feeling guilty if I take time for things like reading, blogging, baking, sewing, scrapping...things I like that make me happy, but that are often purely selfish. For almost six years I've been putting other people first, mostly my kids. They will still be my priority, but not so much that I lose who I am along the way. I am a mother, I am proud and happy to be one, and wouldn't trade that title for any other. But it's not my entire identity, it's not all of who I am. At least, it shouldn't be.

So, that's a brief overview of my resolutions for 2008. More to follow, but for now, I'm going to go make my plans.

This must be just like living in Paradise

2007-12-27T13:51:00.000-05:00

I asked my parents for three different books for Christmas. I received all three, plus two more I didn't ask for which look good, too. I'm currently working on Suite Francaise, by Irene Nemirovsky. It's set in German-occupied France in 1940. I'm not loving it, but I had just read a review of it a couple of months ago right before I went shopping in Port Huron, MI (I will only buy books in America until they stop charging $5 more here when the Canadian dollar is at par with the American) and it was on a table with The Kite Runner - buy one get one half price. I wanted The Kite Runner anyway, so I bought the two of them. I read The Kite Runner right away, then it got to be report card time, then I read something else, so I'm just getting around to Suite Francaise now. I also asked my in-laws for three different books, and we haven't done the gift exchange with them yet, so I'm hoping there are a couple more waiting for me. And to top it all off, I received three gift cards from students for a certain big-name chain bookstore, so I have $40 to spend there. Sigh. What more could a reader ask for? Well, maybe a book like The Thirteenth Tale, and unlimited amounts of time to read. With tea and chocolate. Or actually, at this point in the holidays, just tea.

So, dear readers (assuming I have more readers than just Daph, and Jodi), any suggestions on what to spend my $40 on? There is a chick-lit book I've been dying to read since I was pregnant with Rylee, and I've just learned it's on sale for $4.99 at the big-name chain store, but what else should I buy? (Daph - I already looked into the Twilight series, too, and will probably get the first one of those with the gift cards as well)

PS The sacks were a hit. The girls thought they were pretty cool. The elves have already taken them away for next year. The stockings were also finished just in time, with me running upstairs to my sewing machine during commercial breaks during It's A Wonderful Life, which Ryan and I had never seen and therefore watched late Christmas Eve.

I finally figured out...

2007-12-24T00:54:00.000-05:00

(it really is a song lyric...We're All in This Together, from High School Musical, which I performed with the grade 7/8 choir at our Christmas assembly on Friday)

It's almost one o'clock in the morning, and I've been working on these stupid stockings for hours...well, quite a while, anyway. I was having serious trouble with my sewing machine, which my mechanically/technologically inclined husband was able to help me with, then I just couldn't figure out how to make them look the way I had imagined them. But third time's a charm...on the third attempt, I succeeded! I just ran downstairs with the completed stocking and a big grin to show Ryan, who's watching a movie. He was appropriately happy for me and proud of me, and I think a little surprised at how well it turned out. Anyway, one down, four to go! Hopefully now that I've figured it out, the rest will go more quickly.

Here and now, it's time for celebration
I finally figured out...

I am strong, I am invincible, I am woman!

2007-12-17T22:29:00.001-05:00

One last update on the day before I crash. I ended up going with option 2 and shoveling the driveway. After a few shovelfuls I looked around and said, "This sucks!" But I persevered, and managed to clear the entire driveway, including the pile left by the plow. When I talked to Ryan as he was on his way home, he asked if the plow had been by. When I said yes, he said, "Oh, that'll be fun when I get home," at which point I had the pleasure of informing him that he has the best wife in the whole world. He was happy.

I took the girls to gymnastics tonight and used some of the time to read, which I haven't done much lately. And once all the kiddles were sound asleep, I managed, in collaboration with Ryan, to create the template for the stockings and cut out three of them. I decided that's enough for tonight. I'm now either going to bed, or going to have a bath and then go to bed. I doubt I'm getting my snow day tomorrow, so I should rest up, but I think my muscles would thank me for the bath. Not sure when I'll get to the stockings, since no more snow days seem likely this week - hopefully I can get some craft time in the evenings. I just won't assign any tests or projects this week :)

I rock!!

2007-12-17T13:51:00.000-05:00

I have finished all three sacks for Santa to leave presents in for my girls! They don't know Santa is going to do this - Ryan heard the idea on the radio and, knowing I've been looking for simple sewing projects, suggested it to me. So, if you're someone who might possibly be talking to my kids, don't mention the sacks! And after Christmas, once they know they have the sacks, they still aren't supposed to know who made them. Anyway, they're all done, and I've taken pictures, but as I said, I don't know where the cord is to hook the camera up to the computer, so posting the photos will have to wait until my resident IT guy comes home. I guess I don't totally rock, but in almost every case, almost every time, I do, and that's good enough, right Daph?

I'm very pleased with myself, and am now going to tackle one of two projects:
1) Stockings - when I bought the stuff to make the Santa sacks, I also bought material to make stockings. However, i want to have a sort of template to cut the material, and I'm not sure I'm up to the task of drawing that. I did one on paper, and Ryan mocked me, so maybe I'll just let him do it for me (he's the artist anyway!)
2) The driveway - it really needs to be shoveled, especially the pile at the end left by the snowplow. However, I seem to have done something bad to my back when I first tackled the driveway this morning, so I'm not sure this is a good idea. And IT'S STILL FREAKIN' SNOWING!!!

My one consolation is that maybe the continuing snow will keep the plows busy in town, and they won't get to the rural areas, and the buses will be cancelled again tomorrow. A girl can dream, right?

Walkin in a winter wonderland

2007-12-17T10:15:00.000-05:00

So, 25 cm and the snow is still falling (for Daph, Ismail and any other Americans reading this, that's about 2 ft) I know we hardly got anything compared to my friends in Ottawa (can you open your front door yet, Jodi?) but it's quite a bit. Enough that the buses in the rural areas aren't running, which means my rural school is closed for the third time this winter, but Sammie still has school and they're all at the sitter's right now. I walked them over there this morning, because it was pretty and not too cold and they like to walk, and anyway, I didn't want to drive on the driveway before I shoveled it and even if I wanted to, I don't think I could have gotten past the snowbank at the end of the driveway that the plow left there. SO, I walked them over, and then walked back on a completely snow covered path and through knee-deep snow in my backyard. It looked so inviting that I had to drop down into it, whereupon I laughed hysterically, then made a snow angel. And that was so much fun I jumped in it some more and threw it around a bit. Finally I headed back toward the house, making sure to walk through the deepest part of the drift between our house and the house next door. It was good for my soul, I think.

I decided to shovel the driveway next, which may not have been a good idea, as my back now hurts. We'll see if ibuprofen helps. Next up is my Christmas sewing, which may get put off as the sitter just called with Rylee screaming in the background. Poor little thing is, um backed up, to put it delicately, and the sitter wanted to know if I had some prunes or something. I don't. I may need to go get her to spare the sitter listening to the screams of pain. I think I have suppositories but I don't want to go that route :(

Okay, more to come later, I'm sure, hopefully with pictures of my craft space and crafts!

edited to add: The first sack is done! And the sitter called back and said the plumbing has been cleared, so to speak, and the wee one is no longer howling in pain. Unfortunately, I can't find the cord that attaches the camera to the computer, so I can't post the photos I've taken. Maybe later.

I'm so excited!

2007-12-09T22:26:00.000-05:00

I was going to say that I was too excited to even think of a song lyric for the title, but then realized that IS a song lyric - thank you Pointer Sisters. I guess I'm too excited to recognize the lyrics!

Anyway, I am excited because I have my very own craft space! Not a whole craft room or anything, but tonight we cleared a spot in the office and dragged up a big ol' table that was always intended to be a craft table but has been sitting mostly unused in the basement. And then Ryan brought up a chair, and I brought up my sewing machine, and some sewing and scrapbooking stuff from the basement, and I'm so excited! Yesterday I bought material to make stockings for all of us, and some to make Santa sacks, in which Santa will leave the kids' presents (shh! they don't know about the sacks!) I was going to set up my sewing machine on the table in the basement, even though I didn't want to be way down there by myself crafting, and Ryan said he was planning to bring the table up as soon as we cleared some boxes from the office. So I cleared them, and now I have a craft space, and I'm so excited about it I'm rambling incoherently. Yay me.

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas...

2007-12-02T14:57:00.000-05:00

We decorated the tree and the house last night, and it looks pretty good. We kept all the decorations high so as not to tempt the wee one, and cut back on glass ornaments on the tree out of safety concerns as well. We made a trip to IKEA yesterday (yay!) and while we didn't buy much, I am once more inspired to look at my house and figure out what it needs to make it ours, and to make it a home. Fortunately IKEA is not far away and we weren't late getting back, because we got a LOT of snow last night. Ryan went out to "do a quick shovel" this morning and was out for about an hour! We all ended up outside - Rylee loved the snow, and Sammie and Hailey played with the little boy from next door quite happily.

What else? It's been a long difficult week, with Ryan putting in a lot of overtime. This results in me putting in a lot of overtime as a mommy, and not nearly enough time for me. It's also report card season, and holiday season, of course, both of which require time, effort and action on my part. I'm doing my best. Ryan took Sammie to hockey today and took Hailey with him so I'd get a break, but of course Rylee is waking up now! I still have much to do - laundry will not put itself away, no matter how hard I wish for it, and there is marking and planning to do, and lesson prep, and...I'm getting worn out just thinking about it. Must go get started, and get the bug from her bed before she starts wailing.

Sick sick sick

2007-11-14T21:38:00.000-05:00

I'm too tired and feeling too crappy to even try to come up with a song lyric for the title. I took the afternoon off, partly so I could take Rylee to the doctor but also because I felt like crap. Got Rylee in to see the doctor on call (our family doctor doesn't see patients Wed afternoons, but is part of a family health care group so there is a doctor on call outside of normal office hours) Turns out she not only has croup, she also has an ear infection. So we're both hacking and coughing and she's in pain in her poor little ears on top of it all. Sammie is also coughing quite a bit. Hailey was but seems to be better. Ryan also had it, but seems to be mostly over it, and just felt nauseated tonight. We're a sad little bunch in my house. I'm going to bed now. Here's hoping I actually get to sleep through the night tonight.

Pump up the volume

2007-11-13T23:00:00.000-05:00

My life needs a soundtrack.

This thought occured to me the other day. I was getting Rylee's dinner ready, and Ryan had the iPod going, and I think it was even Pump Up the Volume that was playing. I started dancing around the kitchen as I got Rylee's food, and realized that a) it would be great exercise if I danced around like that more often, and 2) it's alot more fun when you dance to cheesy tunes. I'm not sure what the soundtrack of my life should sound like (although I could definitely soundtrack certain eras/events - my Finland trip is mostly Queen with a bit of U2, some Euro techno-pop and Mrs. Robinson in Finnish, for example) but I definitely think I would enjoy the mundane stuff more with music that gets me moving playing in the background.

What's the soundtrack to your life?

Lest We Forget

2007-11-11T14:54:00.000-05:00

I had all kinds of thoughts on things I would blog about a couple of days ago, but I forget most of them now. And I'm tired, and should be working on my report cards, and a million other things, and Rylee will be up from her nap any minute. So just a short post about today.

My grandmother served in the Canadian Women's Army Corps in World War 2. She was very proud of her service, and remained involved with the CWAC throughout her life. This is my first Remembrance Day without her, the first one where I'm remembering her. It's been tough. At school on Friday, I fell spectaculary apart during the Remembrance Day assembly. Fortunately, it was while a video was on (it was the sight of the veterans marching in the video that caused me to finally lose it) and the gym was dark, so few if any students witnessed it. However, I went back to class afterward and a student asked a question about poppies, and I started crying again. Fortunately (again), this was with my homeroom class, who are a wonderful group of gr 7 and 8 students. I did my best to explain why I was so upset, and they did their best to cope with the fact that their teacher, who is normally quite in control of herself and the class, was having a mini-breakdown. I doubt any of them are reading this, but if you are, you handled it beautifully.

We took the girls to the cenotaph after Mass today for the service there. We've actually managed to do this quite a few times in their short lives, what with one or the other of us being on parental leave and Remembrance Day falling on weekends. They were awesome, and the ceremony was as moving as always. As we were leaving, we saw a veteran sitting in his wheelchair, and almost everyone who went by him was shaking his hand and thanking him. It was beautiful.

My sister-in-law married an Army man this summer. He's leaving for Afghanistan in January. My friend Janet married an RMC grad five years ago. He's leaving for Afghanistan in January too. Remembrance Day has a whole new meaning for me this year. I just hope next year I'm not remembering Jeff or John, and the sacrifice made by Jan (and Hailey and Emma) or Rosalie.

There she goes...

2007-10-19T23:01:00.000-04:00

Yes, for the two people (maximum) reading this who aren't on Facebook, Rylee is walking! She had her first birthday last week and decided it was about time she tried getting around on her feet instead of her hands and knees. She still crawls some of the time, but walks more and more each day, and is getting better and better at it.

Not much else to report. Everything continues to go well, which is great for me, but rather boring for blogging. Tomorrow I am acting as a co-interpreter for The Mennonite Story in St. Jacobs (the small tourist village where I teach, which is in the heart of Mennonite country). If it goes well, it could become a standing gig, which would be pretty cool for a French/history geek like me. Ryan is travelling less, which makes me happy. Sammie and Hailey can't keep their room clean and are still adorable. Sammie has started hockey and really likes it, which is great. Hailey still loves gymnastics.

Yesterday as I was dropping the girls off at the sitter Hailey gave me a big squeeze before I left. As I was walking out the door I heard her saying to the sitter, "Kris, do you want a squeeze?" So cute! This morning I asked Sammie if I was getting a hug and kiss. She yelled back, "No," so Hailey came over and gave me another hug and kiss. She's so affectionate.

Well, since I have nothing else to say...

Oktoberfest is here!

2007-10-12T23:21:00.000-04:00

So, it's Oktoberfest. Where I live this is a huge deal. I'm looking forward to tomorrow night's Oktoberfesting just as much as I used to back in university, although for different reasons. Let's face it, you can call it a festival of German heritage, but for university students, it's just another reason to drink your face off. This is NOT my plan tomorrow night. Now, it's a chance to get together with some friends. It's ridiculous, really - these friends are people who live within a few minutes drive of me, but I rarely get together with them. There will be three couples going tomorrow night, to the best of my knowledge, and the women are two of my closest friends. I've known them for years, their kids are the same age as my daughters, we live close to each other...We used to get together much more frequently, but since having kids, there just don't seem to be the opportunities, or maybe we just don't make them. Whatever the reason we don't do it more often, I'm really looking forward to spending time with my friends tomorrow as friends, not as mommies.

Have I mentioned lately that I love my job? I don't know what it is about this year, but I'm having more fun than I can remember having at work in a long time. I feel like I'm doing well, too, which is nice. I have no idea what's different about this year. Maybe the kids appreciate me more after having a substitute for much of last year while I was on leave. Whatever the reason, I'm feeling really good about my career these days.

Rylee turned one yesterday. We had a small family celebration on Wed night, as her godmother/aunt was able to come for dinner that night but not on her actual birthday. Her babysitter had cupcakes yesterday, then we celebrated again last night with cupcakes after dinner. She of course has no idea what the big deal is, but her sisters do, which was cute. They took the liberty of "helping" Rylee open her presents :)

Not much else is new. Sammie starts hockey this weekend, which should be interesting. She says she knows how to skate, and says she wants to play hockey, but we'll see. She looks pretty darn cute in all her equipment, that's for sure. She still likes school and is reading really well. Hailey still wants to do everything Sammie is. She's struggling with skating, too, but we're working on it. Last weekend we went skating with the Rangers, and Hailey was upset that she kept falling. I told her the Rangers fell a lot when they were learning too. She seemed amazed at that, so I suggested she ask one of them. Sure enough, we went up to one and I said, "Did you want to ask him your question?" She looked up at him and said, "When you were little, did you fall down?" He gave her a big smile and said, "All the time. But I kept getting back up and kept going." After that she told everyone, "He used to fall down all the time, but he kept gotting up!" My kids are so darn cute.

I want to thank you, thank you...

2007-10-07T23:10:00.000-04:00

I know, I know, it's been a while, and probably no one is reading this anymore. But in case I'm wrong, in honour of Thanksgiving, here is what I'm thankful for.

I'm thankful for my families - the one I was born into, the one I married into, and the one I've created with my husband. And I'm thankful for the family of friends who surround me and support me on a daily basis.

I'm thankful for a career that I truly enjoy, for work that is fulfilling and meaningful, and for which I am quite well compensated. I'm thankful that I live in a country where I'm free to have a career outside the home if I choose to.

I'm thankful that I'm one of the people this weekend who ate too much, and not one of the people who didn't eat enough. I'm thankful that I had enough food for my children and no one at my table had to go without.

I'm thankful that I have my wonderful husband. And I'm thankful that I didn't make the mistake of marrying one of the other guys I dated (note to any of them reading this - nothing against you, guys, you're fabulous. You just weren't right for me, and I wasn't right for you. Not in the long run, anyway)

I'm thankful that in university I met someone who helped lead me back to my faith. I'm thankful for the faith community of which I am part. And again, thankful that I am free to worship as I choose, where I choose.

I'm thankful that I have twice had the experience of living in a country other than my own. I'm thankful for the friends I made in Finland, especially the ones who are still part of my life.

I'm thankful for chocolate.

I'm thankful that I'm in good health, and that my family is, too. I know I'm very lucky to have had three uncomplicated pregnancies and three healthy children. And I'm thankful that when I wanted to get pregnant, I did. I know it's not that easy for everyone. I'm thankful that the growth on Em's thyroid was benign. I'm thankful that Tatiana is home and getting better every day. I'm thankful that my mom survived her heart attack last year. I'm thankful that Mim isn't suffering.

On a more lighthearted note, I'm thankful that Rylee is sleeping through the night. I'm thankful that the gr 8 trip to Quebec is going ahead in February, and that I'll get to go. I'm thankful that Rylee isn't quite walking yet.

I'm thankful that I have too many blessings to list here.

You don't know what you've got...

2007-08-03T08:43:00.001-04:00

Just a quick thought, inspired by Daph's blog. After this past weekend, renewing the bonds shared with my exchange student friends, we swore we wouldn't let 14 years go by again without getting together, and those of us who are geographically close promised to keep in better touch. What I'm pondering is this: why are we so determined this time to keep in touch? Why do we think it'll be different? I think the answer is, because we're 14 years older than we were when all went our separate ways. I don't think I realized at age 18 what an amazing thing that friendship was, and that I should cherish it. I think I thought I would find other friendships to take its place. I *have* found wonderful friends since being home, and I treasure them, too, but they are in addition to Daph, Darren, Monica and Ismail, not instead of. And I know now how lucky I am to have those four people as my dear friends. I promise to be a better friend this time.

Some things'll never change...

2007-08-02T10:20:00.000-04:00

...but some things will. Like a 17 or 18 year old kid sent to live in a foreign country for a year.

At my reunion weekend, my friends kept saying how our year in Finland made them who they are. This got me thinking. How did my year abroad change me? How has it affected who I am today? I mean, the man I'm married to knows very little about that year, I don't talk about it much with friends now...how did it contribute to who I am today? Or did it?

So yesterday, as I drove for 2+ hours in 30+ degrees Celsius in a car with no AC, alone with a baby, I thought about it. I came up with ways Finland changed me and ways just being an exchange student changed me. Here's what I came up with.

WAYS FINLAND AFFECTED ME (IN NO PARTICULAR ORDER)

Drinking coffee - I never drank the stuff before I went to Finland, but when you go to a Finn's house, they will offer you some. And go into an absolute tizzy trying to get you something else to drink if you say no. So I just started drinking it to save everyone's sanity.

Drinking beer - Never drank this either, but then again, probably would have started in university if I hadn't already.

Cheering for Finnish teams/athletes - unless of course they're competing against Canadian teams/athletes.

Cheering against Swedish teams/athletes - and basically being against all things Swedish. It took me a long time to accept that the Leafs had a Swede for a captain. And even longer to admit that I actually liked him.

Amusing anecdotes - like the time I went to St. Petersburg and was so focused on bringing my camera, passport and American money that I forgot to pack underwear. I have many more stories like this. Ask me about my trip to Stockholm sometime. The thing is, I don't want to bore anybody, and I always think these stories are only interesting to me and the people who were there. If I'm wrong, let me know - I'd be happy to share some stories.

Interesting second language stories - these serve me well as a second language teacher. Like how tuli, tuuli and tulli all mean different things, and sound SLIGHTLY different. Or how Finnish only has one word for both he and she.

An affection for all things Finn - like Finlandia vodka, Fazer chocolate, Lapin Kulta beer, pulla, Karelian pies...sigh.

WAYS BEING AN EXCHANGE STUDENT CHANGED ME

Not letting people too close - this is all I could come up with that was at all big. I have some wonderful friends, but we aren't as close as I was with my exchange student friends. I don't know if this is because I don't let them get as close because I don't want to go through losing them like I did with my exchange student friends, or if it's just because adults don't form friendships like that, or what.

Being self-reliant - I can get through just about anything, and do it on my own. I learned to do that when far from home in Finland, too shy and/or proud to ask Rotary to help.

That's it. Most of that isn't even huge, I don't think. So, here's my question. I know at least some of my Oulu buddies are reading this - how did our year abroad make YOU who you are? Or if any other exchange students - past or present - are reading this, how did/has your year changed you? And if that's too personal for the comments, email me. I'd love to hear.

PS For pictures from my weekend, check out Daph's blog. And for a someone else's take on the reunion, check out Darren's blog.

Crazy for you

2007-07-31T09:16:00.000-04:00

And a little aside, my 7th wedding anniversary was a few days ago. So to my sweetheart, I love you more than ever, which I already told you, but now I'm announcing it for anyone who happens by my blog to read. I love our life together, and I'm so so so happy I married you seven years ago.

Finland, Finland, Finland

2007-07-31T09:05:00.000-04:00

I usually try to use song lyrics for my post titles, so thank you Monty Python for writing the song that gave me today's post title :)

I have been crazy busy this summer and won't even try to catch up on everything I've done - camping, cottaging, Rosalie's wedding, visiting both sets of parents - I haven't been home more than a few days at a time since the end of June. But I will tell you about last weekend.

I spent last weekend in Ottawa with four of the best friends I've ever had or will ever have. Daphne, Ismail, Darren, Monica and I met 15 years ago as Rotary Youth Exchange students in Finland. We were all sent to live in or near Oulu, Finland, which is just slightly south of the Arctic Circle. It was north, it was dark, it was cold, it was an absolutely amazing year. When we came home we tried to keep in touch (most of us, anyway) and we saw each other a few times in various configurations, but never all together, and eventually we just sort of drifted apart. A couple of years ago, Darren decided to find us all again, and wonder of wonders, pulled it off! We started trying to plan for a reunion and it finally came together this summer. Daphne lives in California now, and Ismail and Monica are in Oregon, and they all flew into Buffalo last weekend. I picked them up and we drove to Ottawa, where Darren is now.

It is CRAZY how we just picked up where we left off 14 years ago. We've grown up, gotten married, come out, gotten divorced, finished school, started careers, but when we got together we were as close as we were then, like we'd never lost touch. We spend most of the weekend on Darren's back porch, reminiscing and catching up, but also discussing all kinds of things. It's just amazing to me how we all just came together like we never lost touch, how we could all still say anything, and how all 5 of us could still have that incredible bond. I expected to still share it with Daphne, because I was closest to her and we've never really lost touch, but for 5 people to have that 14 years later with minimal contact in the intervening 14 years is, to me, mind boggling.

That reunion was one of the best ideas you've ever had, Darren. I'm SO glad we made it work. I hereby pledge not to let another 14 years go by without seeing everyone again, and to keep in better touch with everyone. I love you guys.

Quick Rylee update

2007-06-12T22:26:00.000-04:00

Just realized I haven't posted about any of her latest milestones. She now has two teeth on the bottom. If she gets top ones anytime soon we may have to end our nursing relationship, as she tends to bite down and tug and that hurts enough with just bottom teeth. She's also crawling, and man can she go! Baby gates will need to go up soon.

In related news, well, there isn't much. Sammie continues to amaze me with her reading. Hailey's speech is getting clearer, which sadly means some of her cute babyish talk is disappearing. I've realized I may have to finally correct one of Sammie's last remaining mispronunciations. She came home with a story she'd written at school about swimming in Opa's pool and about the "babing soot" she was wearing. I can't bring myself to teach her to say baTHing suit.

And a personal milestone...our nephew is staying with us this week, and tonight I had the pleasure of getting all four kids to bed on my own, as Ryan was at a ball game (I'm out with an injury, which is why I stayed home with the kids). Wouldn't you know it, the boy pooped right before bed, so I had to change my first poopy boy diaper - I'd only changed wet ones before, and only a few of those. I had to call my mom for advice on applying diaper cream because he had a rash and I didn't know where you could put the stuff on a boy! (No, I don't have any brothers, but my mom had brothers who were much younger than her, so she changed their diapers) Anyway, it seems to be okay now - fingers crossed.

So...what did YOU do today?

10 Things I Love (and 5 I wish I did)

2007-06-11T21:36:00.000-04:00

I got this idea from Daph, who used it on her blog. Let's just assume that it's a given that I love my family and friends and go from there, okay?

10 Things I Love (in no particular order)

1. Facebook - I forgot to mention this in my last post about why I haven't posted in a while - any computer time seems to be spent on Facebook. I've gotten back in touch with so many old friends this way! It's completely addictive.
2. The A-Ha moment - any teacher reading this knows what I mean - the moment that comes after you've spend countless hours going over and over something and all of a sudden a student says, "OH! I get it!"
3. Baking - even better now that my kids (well, two of them) are old enough to help. We have a lot of fun with this, and then get to have a treat at the end. The clean up? Not so much fun, but worth it.
4. Trivial Pursuit - I've been hooked since I was a kid and played the original one with my mom. I was too young to answer any of the entertainment questions (I still don't know who Tyrone Power is) but I could get a lot of the other ones. I now own several versions of this game.
5. Travelling - love it. Preferably with a favourite travel companion (Daph and Ryan are the best I've found so far). Preferably far away.
6. Diving - I was scared at first, but there is nothing like it. Being in that silent, still world under the water, gliding along, seeing things most humans don't...it's pretty darn cool.
7. Reading - preferably in the bathtub. With a cup of tea. And some chocolate. That's my ultimate fantasy right now.
8. Sleeping - don't do near enough of this anymore. As I've said before, it takes forever to get all the kids to bed, then I have to do school work and want to do things like check email, check Facebook, read, watch TV, hang out with Ryan...if I'm low on my own priority list, sleep is even lower.
9. Biking - I should do this more often. Hopefully I will now that the weather is staying nice. I was going to bike to work today but I hurt my ankle yesterday so I couldn't.
10. Sun - I know we have to be careful what with the holes in the ozone layer and whatnot, but I challenge you to spend a year in northern Finland and not come out of it with a renewed appreciation for sunlight.

5 Things I Wish I Loved (or think I should)

1. Breastfeeding - I hear so many women talk about how they love it. I have to admit, I don't. I do it because it's what's best for my babies, and it's easier than mixing a bottle, and more economical, but I don't really like doing it. I don't dislike it, but I sure don't miss it when I stop.
2. Crafts - I WANT to be a crafty-type person. I do. I have scrapbooking stuff and cross-stitching and a sewing machine and I always swear that when I get some free time I'm going to make use of them, but then I get some free time and I'd rather read, or watch a movie, or something else. I'm working on it.
3. Being active - again, I WANT to be an active, on-the-go, walking and biking everywhere person. But I usually manage to find a reason not to be. I'm working on this one, too.
4. Vegetables - it would be easier to convince my kids to eat them if I actually liked them too! I do eat them, and even enjoy some of them, but would like to be eating more.
5. My body - just as it is, belly and all. I'm REALLY working on this one.

Where does the time go when it's not around here?

2007-06-10T21:09:00.001-04:00

Whoops! I have no idea how that much time passed without a post. Well, actually, I do. Life happened.

Rylee started taking longer to get to sleep in the evenings. It's either 8 or 9 pm, or she goes down at 7 pm for an hour, then is up for 2 or 3. Aaargh! Not sleeping so well through the night, either.

Work got VERY busy, especially once report card time rolled around. Thankfully, they're done now, although if any of my students have happened across this blog, your marks can still be changed at any time up to the moment the report is in your hot little hands!!!

Ball season started. Our team has never been a contender, until this year. We've actually got some wins! More than one! And of course, this is supposed to be the last season for the league, since the land where our diamonds are has been sold. Figures.

And then the bad news.

My grandmother finally succumbed to non-Hodgkins lymphoma in May. She was on a respirator and it was doing all the breathing for her, so my mom and her siblings made the very difficult decision to have it turned off, which was according to my Mim's wishes. She passed away with her kids near her, very peacefully. The doctors told our family she would likely not last long after the respirator was turned off, but she fought for a few more hours. What a wonderful, brave, special woman. I miss her so much already.

When my grandfather died in July 2005 I went to Windsor with my sister and stayed at my cousin Ami's house, with my sister and another cousin, Christine, who lives in BC. We actually had a great time hanging out and shopping when we weren't doing funeral-related stuff. This time, I thought it would be different since Ami has a daughter now, I was going to have Rylee with me (the girls stayed with my in-laws last time)...turns out, Ami's daughter went to daycare and my sister-in-law said she would help my mother-in-law take care of all three of my kids. So after the first visitation, five of us cousins went to a drug store, went out for ice cream, and went back to Ami's to do facials and toenails. The next night, almost all the cousins who were in town and over the age of 12 went to Ami's again, where we ordered pizza and had a talk. See, some of my Mim's kids are squabbling amongst themselves for reasons we don't really understand. My cousin Matt wanted everyone to get together and agree that just because our parents aren't getting along, there's no reason we shouldn't. It was a great get-together, and hopefully the next time we do it, it won't be in honour of a dead relative.

I was asked to do a eulogy for both of my grandparents at their funerals. I barely got through this one. I had back-up ready to come take the speech and finish it for me if I couldn't. I managed, however. I was going to post my speech here, but it's pretty long. Anyone who's really interested can ask - probably anyone who's interested either already heard it, or lives in town and can see my copy.

Last bit of news (because Hailey just wandered into the hallway saying she can't sleep, so I need to go put her back to bed) - my niece Tatiana is still in hospital, now the veteran of several surgeries (and she's just 2 months old tomorrow). Her omphalocele has been put back in, she looks normal except for the stitches on her little belly that make her look like a football, and the many tubes and things coming out of her. She's far from being out of the woods yet, so keep praying to whatever higher power you believe in, please.

I will try not to let so much time pass before my next post!

Workin' 9 to 5...

2007-04-25T21:48:00.000-04:00

Well, more like 8:15 to 4:15, plus some work at home, but you get the idea. I've been back to work for a couple of weeks now and am feeling right back in the swing of things. I had forgotten how much I really do love my job, and have been reminded these last couple of weeks. Ryan has been home with the girls and they're all still alive and the house is still standing, and they're even smiling most days, so all is well in that area too. I also hadn't really realized how drained I was when I was pregnant. I just can't believe how much more energy I have at work than I did a year ago when I was just starting my 2nd trimester. It's amazing! And that's even with all the waking up at night thanks to the monster. I don't know what it is, lately she's back to eating every few hours around the clock. I have this theory that the reason she's hungry is that she doesn't get enough at any one feeding from me, so I keep nursing her when she wakes up to try to increase the milk supply, but all that seems to happen is she wakes up again in a few hours and I'm exhausted when I finally get up in the morning.

And I'm really tired of looking pregnant! I know, it took 9 months to gain the weight, so why shouldn't it take more than 6 to lose it, but it's not about the number on the scale. It's about the fact that I don't look fat, I look pregnant. I don't know why. I don't know if it's because I had c-sections and the abdominal muscles aren't healed, or because I only gained weight in my belly so that's the only place I need to lose it, or what. I'm almost back into the clothes I was wearing the summer before I got pregnant with Rylee (after the 12-week challenge) but I still look like I'm pregnant and I hate it. I know I should just focus on being healthy and not worry about my appearance, but there it is. I look like I'm pregnant and I'm not and I hate it.

Update on Tatiana - she did not have a very good weekend, but Carianne's was okay. She did go home and got to be with her boys, which helped her spirits. Some of the fluid had to be drained from the prosthesis in Tatiana's abdomen because she was just in too much pain, and apparently there's been some swelling, but Carianne was allowed to hold her again today. I'm hoping that's a good sign. I've passed on all the good wishes people have sent to me and ask that you continue to keep them in your thoughts/prayers.

The latest on Tatiana

2007-04-22T14:30:00.000-04:00

Copied from the most recent email from Carianne:

Tatiana was transferred to a different hospital on april 18. She left the neonatal unit and is now in the pediatric critical care unit (PCCU). The doctor requested she be moved since she works out of the new location, can check on her frequently, rather than stopping in before or after her work day. I was okay with the move, like I had any choice anyways! The Victoria hospital is newer, larger, more spacious and the parking lot is right across from her room. Nice!

Since she has been on her antibiotics the past couple days she has been doing really well. Hopefully the infection is gone. This morning I sat with her for a few hours, enjoying the cuddle and watching her peacefully sleep in my arms. And the chair was a nice soft lazy boy lounger, not too hard to relax in.

We were told there would possibly be surgery today, april 19. But only if they could book some time in the operating room. 12:30. Call comes in and her time in the OR will be 1:00. Surgery shouldn’t take any more than 2 hours. We wait. Mom, rosalie and collin are with me. Finally at 4:00 the doc tells us all went well. The balloon type thing was inserted into her lower abdomen, they filled it with 80mls of liquid. A tube comes out of her so the doctor can keep filling the balloon till her abdomen is large enough that the omphalocele will fit into it. Not sure how long this will take. Maybe 20 days, or that is what the 2 other medical papers have stated that have tried this procedure. It’s a new way to try to fix this abnormality so I’m hoping it works well.

Me again. Carianne was going to go home this weekend to be with her husband and son, since there's not much she can do with or for Tatiana right now anyway. I will be passing on all the good wishes you've been sending to me. I know it will mean a lot to her.

More news on Tatiana

2007-04-17T22:17:00.000-04:00

For those who were wondering about Tatiana, here is an update I copied from Carianne's last email:

The game plan: surgery 1: they will insert a prosthetic (balloon) into her lower abdomen. Over time they will pump this balloon up, hoping to increase her skin tissue and also her abdominal cavity. Once the cavity is large enough …

Surgery 2: they will remove the prosthetic, drop the omphalocele (her liver, stomach and bowel that is now on the outside of her body) into the abdominal cavity and hope that the skin stretches enough over the opening. Also over the opening they will use a board type thing to help keep the omphalocele where it is supposed to be, keeping her tummy a normal shape, so it doesn’t pop out.

Surgery 3 + ?: the next surgery or more will be to remove the board and keep stretching the skin till it covers over the opening. It will depend on how fast her skin grows to be able to cover the opening whether it will be 1 or more surgeries.

We went to see her on the weekend. I got to look at her in her little incubator in the NICU, and you'd never guess there was anything wrong. She's adorable, her colour looked good to me, she was wrapped in a blanket so you couldn't see the omphalocele, she was just a little smaller than most babies I've seen (but we tend to have babies the size of toddlers around here!) Carianne was allowed to hold her on the weekend, and was even starting to try to nurse, but that's been stopped now.

My mother in law called tonight to say that Tatiana was supposed to go for surgery today but it had to be cancelled as she is running a fever due to an infection. She is being moved to the hospital in London where her surgeon is, so that she can be wheeled into surgery at a moment's notice if need be. I'm not sure if they know where the infection is.

It seems Carianne was told that the doctor has seen this maybe 10 times in her career, and that anything they've done before hasn't worked too well, so they're trying something different. Understandably, Carianne is having a very rough go. She's staying in London to be near Tatiana, away from her husband, her son and most of her immediate family (although her brother is in London, and some extended family). Please keep praying for Tatiana, or thinking good thoughts, or whatever works for you. She still needs it.

Thank heaven for little girls

2007-04-11T23:07:00.000-04:00

Tatiana Jayne Brophy arrived today, on her mommy's birthday. Happily, it seems that she is even healthier than expected. She needs surgery because she was born with her liver, intestines and stomach outside of her body, but the good news is that the doctors seem to think that's the only thing wrong. The surgery was supposed to be on Friday but now it might be earlier because the doctors think she can handle it, and has no other issues they need to worry about. Thank you to anyone who sent prayers and wishes to Carianne. Ryan and I are Tatiana's godparents, so Ryan went to London today to see her and be there for the baptism.

Welcome baby girl!

Back in the saddle

2007-04-10T22:41:00.000-04:00

I started back to work today. It went quite well - someone said it was like I never left. The grade 4/5 class swarmed me when I walked in on supervision duty, and when I showed up to teach their class they all told me how happy they were that I was back, even the gr 5 boys that I wouldn't have expected it from. It was an ego boost, to say the least.

I was a little surprised at how easily I got back in the routine. I guess it's because I was off for a shorter leave this time (six months, as opposed to 8 or 9) and because I started the school year with these kids and am now finishing it with them. Besides, I've taught most of these kids for three years now, so I know them and they know me.

I was supposed to start yoga tonight but there was just too much going on - Ryan had two meetings, one of which overlapped with yoga, I had plans to prepare, the girls needed a bath (Sammie has school pictures tomorrow), I had housework I was hoping to tackle...something had to give. I decided it would be yoga, which I will probably not do now for this session. I've already missed the first two classes, and will likely have conflicts once baseball starts. I figured I had to choose, and I chose baseball. I've already committed to playing ball, and I can always do yoga in the fall.

Rylee is still a monster when it comes to sleep. I don't know why I bother mentioning it. I should just post about the times she actually does sleep. Actually, she slept quite well at the in-laws this past weekend. I think it might be because she was in a dark room, but I'm not sure yet. She's been sleeping for about 3 hours now, so maybe we're in for a better night. Maybe. I should be sleeping too, but I was feeding my addiction (yay facebook!) and checking OHL scores (Rangers lost - boo) and decided to post about my first day back.

Before I head off to sleep, I'm asking for prayers and good wishes for my sister-in-law, who is giving birth to her second child tomorrow. The baby has medical issues that will require surgery within a couple of days. We're hoping there are no other issues that the ultrasound didn't show. Please send happy thoughts in the general direction of London.

25 random things you might not know about me

2007-04-06T15:13:00.000-04:00

1. My youngest daughter was almost named Danielle.
2. I have lived in Haukipudas and Oulu, Finland and in Nantes, France.
3. I have been to Oregon and California, but no further west in Canada than Thunder Bay.
4. If I could live in any country in Europe, it would be the Netherlands.
5. I had a small crush on my Canadian history prof in 4th year.
6. I am the 2nd youngest teacher at my school.
7. I can say I love you in about 10 different languages.
8. I did gr 3 and gr 4 in one year.
9. I once ran up a $200 phone bill in teacher's college.
10. I am great at talking myself out of buying things.
11. I am first generation Canadian on my dad's side.
12. I have TMJ disorder. Also chondromalasia patella (sp?)
13. I want to be on What Not to Wear. And Jeopardy.
14. I like being tickled.
15. The Les Miserables soundtrack makes me cry.
16. In high school I played clarinet, alto sax and baritone sax.
17. I was mentioned in the liner notes of a CD (Us & Wilbur - Through These Walls)
18. I am a huge fan of Dave Barry.
19. I have been to the northernmost point of mainland Britain.
20. My first concert was Glass Tiger.
21. I have never broken a bone.
22. My favourite game is Trivial Pursuit (okay, if you know me at ALL, you probably knew that one)
23. I have only once in my life lied to my mother and gotten away with it.
24. My favourite colour is blue.
25. My confirmation name is Angela.

The Easter what?!?

2007-04-03T13:11:00.000-04:00

Just had to share this Hailey-ism. It's a two parter.

PART THE FIRST
Sammie and Hailey are playing behind Daddy's chair when they are supposed to be cleaning up their toys. I ask them to come out from behind the chair and ask what they're doing. Sammie, still holding a book, tells me she's reading a story. Hailey looks at me and with a perfectly straight face, not trying to be funny, says, "I'm the Easter egg piggy." Trying hard not to laugh, I ask, "You're the what?" Sammie says, "She's the Easter pig," still not joking, at the same time that Hailey repeats, "I'm the Easter egg piggy." And I thought it was funny when they said Easter egg bunny. Hailey also referred to Christmas recently as Santa Claus Day, so maybe we need to work on the meaning of Christmas around here. And Easter.

PART THE SECOND
Takes place immediately after part the first. I remind the girls that they are supposed to be cleaning up and tell them to get started. Hailey holds up her hands, waves them around, still not trying to make a joke, and says very seriously, "The Easter egg piggy doesn't have any hands."

YOU try to keep a straight face at that point. The funniest part was, I really don't think she was even trying to get out of cleaning up her toys. She just saw a real problem with this since she was the Easter egg piggy and the Easter egg piggy doesn't have any hands. Too funny.

And where have YOU been?

2007-04-01T21:38:00.000-04:00

I gave up. I have been letting her have the soother and, wonder of wonders, it seems to soothe her. Rylee is now settling into a sort of pattern where she goes to sleep, wakes up a few hours later, falls asleep again fairly quickly when you stick the soother back in her mouth, and sleeps a while longer. How much longer varies, but I'm not on hourly search-and-rescue missions anymore. Hooray.

On Friday I went to a conference in Toronto for modern language teachers - the only work-related travel I ever do, and at my own expense, of course. It was great. I went with my friend Carrie, also a French teacher, and stayed over. You can usually find people you went to school with, or taught with, but this year I even found someone I went on exchange with! The person who handled my check-in at the hotel was the guy who went on exchange from the same Rotary club as me, the same year. It was good to see him - he seems like time has been kind to him, and he's happy with himself and his life now. Carrie and I had a good time (or at least I did - I think she did too) being without kids for once, doing girly things.

This is my last week before I go back to work. I guess I should be getting some stuff ready. I will try to do so this week, but with Ryan gone, it may be difficult. I get so run-down when he's gone, it's hard to motivate myself to do anything. Oh well.

We bought a tent trailer this weekend. I wasn't sure I wanted to, but Ryan convinced me. I really like the one we ended up getting. Now I'm looking forward to the summer more than ever.

Not much else to say. I will try to be more interesting next time.

Hush little baby

2007-03-26T20:43:00.000-04:00

Well, the sleeping is getting better, as I've said before. However, as I think I also mentioned, she's falling asleep with a pacifier, which means that when she wakes up as a normal part of the sleep cycle, she notices she no longer has the pacifier and cries for it. So tonight I'm biting the bullet. Last night I managed to keep her in her crib all night, and even managed to get her to put herself back to sleep once or twice. I had decided that this week, while Ryan is away and I don't have to worry about keeping him awake, I would wean her off of the soother. I know that at 5 months it's not a big deal for her to still be on it, but it's not giving me any more sleep, it just means I don't have to nurse her to sleep. Tonight as I stood over her trying to keep the soother in her mouth, I decided this is the night. I'm not going to stand over her forcing it into her mouth when I'm just going to take it away soon anyway. So now I'm in the office, waiting 10 minutes before I go back in to try to settle her down without giving her the pacifier or picking her up. This has been my stumbling block in the past. I know I'm supposed to go back in after 5 min, then 10, then 12, etc, but without picking her up, she doesn't settle down or stop crying even when I come in, so how long do I stand over her trying to get her to stop?

Four minutes to go.

The other problem here is that I need Sammie and Hailey to fall asleep quickly, because they have to get up early tomorrow as we're going to London to look at flower girl dresses. I don't know how they're going to fall asleep with that screaming in the next room. And yet, for the first night in a long time, I haven't heard a peep out of them since I kissed them goodnight and left their room. Hailey didn't nap today so she's very tired, and they were outside riding their bikes after dinner, so maybe they're good and tired for once.

Two minutes.

I suppose I could go do something useful and productive like put away laundry or clean my room. Nah. If I have to listen to a crying baby, I'm at least going to do something I enjoy while I listen. I'm thinking for the next 10 minute stretch I'll have a shower or something. Maybe read a book - I've just started a biography of Pierre Elliot Trudeau. I've always been fascinated by him, even if I'm too young to really remember Trudeaumania.

Okay, 10 minutes are up.

Who's watching me?

2007-03-22T21:17:00.000-04:00

So, if you ever read the comments, you will know that I've received my first comment from someone I've never met. I've wondered if there's anyone out there reading this other than my friends. I don't even know how many of them are reading. So, who's watching (or should that be reading?) me? Please let me know! I'll even make it fun for you. Please tell me:
1. Who are you?
2. If I don't know you, how did you find me?
3. If I do know you, tell me something about you I don't already know.

See? Isn't that fun?

Well, the sleeping thing is getting better. She has been consistently going to sleep without being rocked or nursed, but since I'm using the pacifier, I'm on a search and rescue mission every hour or so. But on the whole, I think it's working out well. She's happier when she's awake, she's going to sleep quickly, and I think we're getting more quality time when she's awake, because I'm making an effort to be tuned into her moods and needs, and making sure she gets lots of cuddles and love (my theory is that babies make a bigger fuss and demand more attention at night if they aren't getting enough affection during the day) Next step will be getting her to sleep in her crib, then getting her to fall asleep without the pacifier. Hopefully by the time I go back to work after Easter she'll be sleeping beautifully.

Because of the new sleep training program, I decided not to go to the first Kitchener Rangers playoff game tonight, so Ryan took Hailey. I just thought I shouldn't throw off Rylee's sleep patterns so early in the program, and I wasn't going to go and leave her here, because I know I wouldn't enjoy it, I'd just be wondering if she was sleeping or screaming or what. Sammie and Hailey discussed it at dinner and realized Sammie went with Daddy last time, so Hailey went tonight. Sammie and I cuddled while we watched Madeline's Winter Vacation, then played the Caillou memory game and had TWO stories before bed (unheard of when Mommy's putting them to bed!) It was nice, because as I said before, I don't get a lot of one-on-one time with Sammie where I can just enjoy her and let her be a little girl. So often she has to be the big girl and Mommy's big helper, when she's not quite five years old! So tonight we cuddled on the couch and on her bed.

I am very excited because today I made contact with one of my best friends from high school. I haven't seen her or talked to her in about 15 years (am I dating myself? I suppose it doesn't matter, pretty much everyone reading this knows exactly how old I am). She graduated a year before I did, and her family had moved away from Peterborough, so we lost touch. Now we've found each other again and it turns out she lives in Burlington! (for anyone unfamiliar with southwestern Ontario, that's less than an hour's drive away from me) Welcome Jo - I'm so happy to have you in my life again.

I think Ryan and Hailey are home so I will go help get her ready for bed. Assuming she's still awake.

I do believe it's getting better...

2007-03-21T14:45:00.000-04:00

Well, last night she fell asleep nursing at about 9 pm (I know - I shouldn't do that!) She woke up when I tried to put her down at 10, so I let her cry for about 5 min, then Hailey started crying and Ryan's sister was here, so I picked her up and let her sleep in my arms and on my chest. I tried to put her down around 11:30 so I could watch 24 with Ryan, but she woke up again. This time I was determined not to pick her up or feed her. Ryan heard the cries (hers, not mine) and came up. Between us, we talked and cuddled and soothed until she, to put it delicately, passed gas. A few times. Then she settled down and finally fell asleep on our bed. If Ryan hadn't been with me I know I would have given in and nursed her, and set up another terrible night. As it was, she fell asleep around 1 am (I think) and slept till almost 8 am with only one waking/feeding. She fell asleep in the car on the way to the grocery store this morning, and slept while we walked around. For her afternoon nap, I lay down beside her on our bed, put her bedtime blankie on and gave her a soother, and talked softly to her and let her hold my finger until she fell asleep. Incredibly, it only took about 15 min and let go of my finger on her own, I didn't have to pry it away from her. I've read that if you can just steel yourself to listen to the crying once or twice, these cry it out methods work quickly. Maybe it's true. I will try again tonight. I think I'm starting to figure out her wake/eat/sleep patterns too, which is helping.

Crap. She's awake.

edited to add: Yay! I got her back to sleep again the same way, without picking her up or anything!

A meme!

2007-03-20T08:16:00.000-04:00

I've never done one of these in my blog before - I don't even know what a meme is, really. Anyway, I got this from Daph's blog - thanks Daph!

Comment and I will:

Tell you why I friended (befriended?) you.
Associate you with a song/film.
Tell a random fact about you.
Tell a first memory about you.
Associate you with a character/pairing.
Ask something I've always wanted to know about you.
Tell you my favorite story about you.
In retort, you must spread this disease in your blog (well, you don't have to do that).

I was actually just going to post to share this story - we were just looking out the window trying to decide if it's snowing or if that's just snow from the ground blowing around, and trying to convince Hailey that the snow isn't actually melting at this precise moment, and certainly not in amounts that you can actually see. Sammie told her the snow looks the same every time you look at it, and that it's all sparkly. Then she said, "It sure is beautiful when it's sparkly. It's like God put glitter on it."

Last night was terrible, then better. At one point I was sobbing almost hysterically, begging Rylee to go to sleep, or at least stop crying. Strangely, it seemed that the more hysterical I got, the quieter she got. And of course she didn't start any of this until Ryan left to play hockey, and stopped about 2 minutes before he got home.

At least I had a yummy breakfast. Ryan came up and told me there was breakfast on the table for me, and when I got downstairs, the kettle was on, too. What a good man :)

130 baby!

2007-03-18T23:39:00.000-04:00

Ryan and I watched Test the Nation on CBC tonight and took the IQ test. We had a few different answers, but ended up with identical scores - 52 out of 60, for an IQ of 130! And that's with a crying baby in my arms for most of the test!

Now, as a teacher, believe me, I know standardized tests are not the be all and end all. I know they are somewhat questionable as actual measures of intelligence because they are culturally biased and because people from lower socio-economic strata are at a disadvantage. I know all about multiple intelligences, and that it's all about not how smart are you, but how are you smart. I KNOW all this. But at the end of a sleep-deprived week, when I'm feeling like I can't do anything right and I'm not doing a good job at anything in my life, that 130 felt pretty damn good.

Rylee has just been so fussy lately. She cries a lot through the day, is very difficult to get to sleep day or night, and wakes up every 2-3 hours at night. If I don't just bring her into my bed, I'm up for at least half an hour with her each time. I get to the point where I just need my sleep so I'll do whatever it takes, which is usually bring her into my bed and feed her, which then perpetuates her being reliant on that to get to sleep. I'm at the end of my rope and don't know what to do anymore.

Who needs sleep?

2007-03-12T22:02:00.000-04:00

Apparently not Rylee! Yes, for all my smugness a couple of months ago, the child has turned into a non-sleeper. She has been waking up every 2-3 hours at night, and insisting on eating each time. She's been quite fussy during the day too, which is why I haven't posted in a while. A public health nurse suggested it was related to her being sick a couple of weeks ago, and that it was temporary. I sure hope so. Things were looking up on the weekend but last night was bad again. Tonight, however, she fell asleep without nursing and when she woke up an hour later, I was able to get her back to sleep without nursing again. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that it lasts, and just in case it doesn't, I'm going to bed now.

New Blog!

2007-03-03T17:09:00.000-05:00

I have started a new blog, one that's just for fun. Check it out and let me know what you think - www.weallquote.blogspot.com Thanks to Daph and her poetry blog for inspiring it! Daph - I think I even copied your template - I didn't mean to, it's just the one I thought suited the blog.

If a four-year-old gets it...

2007-03-01T09:04:00.000-05:00

Sammie saw my book on the kitchen table the other day and asked what it was called. I told her it's called Shake Hands with the Devil. The cover has a picture of Romeo Dallaire and she asked if he was the devil man. I told her no, he was a good man, so she asked if there was a bad devil in my book. I explained that there wasn't actually a devil, but some people doing bad things. She of course wanted to know what the bad things were, and who wants to explain genocide to a four year old? Not me, thanks, so I told her that a group of people was hurting another group of people just because they were different. She frowned and said, "But they don't have to hurt them just because they're different. They don't all have to be the same. They can still just be friends even if they're different." Here's hoping she never stops thinking that way.

More words of wisdom from Sammie: I had Hailey in the bathroom yesterday trying to get her to sit on the potty or the toilet and pee, which she still refuses to do, despite the fact that Sammie pees on the toilet and these days Hailey can't even decide what to drink with lunch until she knows what Sammie's having. So Sammie pops in and tells Hailey, "Peeing on the toilet is good. You get to have some time by yourself to just think about things." Is that why it takes her so long in the bathroom?

Sammie is getting frustrated by Hailey copying everything she eats, drinks and does, so she's taken to whispering her requests so that Hailey can't hear and therefore can't copy her. Yesterday she asked for apple juice, and just to be sure I'd heard her correctly, I asked, "A-p-p-l-e?" Since this is one of the words she can spell, she recognized it and nodded. Today at breakfast the same thing happened. Then I asked Hailey what she wanted to drink, and she replied, "Ay-pe-pe-pelly" or something like that (it's difficult to put in writing!)

Apparently my grandmother's lymph nodes are shrinking, which is supposed to be good news, I guess. She's been moved to another hospital for rehab on her hip. However, the doctors drained more fluid from her lungs last week and the oncologist said she didn't like the look of it, so she sent it for testing. The results should be back today. The oncologist said she has suspicions but doesn't want to say anything until the results are in.

Enough for now - I think I'll try to get a shower in while the baby is sleeping!

Shake Hands with the Devil

2007-02-27T21:41:00.000-05:00

I'm currently reading this book, and it's just so powerful that it deserved its own post instead of being lumped in with my trivia about my family.

For anyone who's not familiar with it, it's the story of the genocide in Rwanda in 1994, written by the Canadian Lt-general who was commander of the UN peacekeeping mission in Rwanda. Obviously you're not going to have actual pictures in a book of this type, but believe me, Romeo Dallaire creates incredibly vivid images with just words. There was one line I read today in a description of the aftermath of an attack that just disturbed me to no end, to the point where I was scooping up my little baby and kissing her and telling her how much I love her. I won't even repeat the line here, because I think it might be that upsetting to some people (but if you have a strong constitution and you're curious, ask me about it in the comments or in an email)

Reading today about how Dallaire desperately needed troops and supplies and got neither because no one was interested in Rwanda made me stop and think. However unpopular the decision to send Canadian troop to Afghanistan (or anywhere else) may be, once that decision has been made and Canadians have been deployed, we have a responsibility to them. It just boggles my mind that the UN decided it was worth sending peacekeepers to Rwanda but then was unwilling to provide them with the support to carry out their mission. That member countries refused to send troops when the genocide started and the Belgian troops were ordered to withdraw. It's a little late now to get upset and say that governments and organizations could/should have done more, but maybe there's a lesson that can be learned from that terrible, terrible situation.

I'm also left wondering why I didn't know more about this when it happened. I know I was in first year university, and was quite submerged in my own little world, but is that the only reason? Or were we just not being given the whole story?

My thoughts on this book and this story are a little incoherent. Maybe I'll post again when they're a little clearer.

What a man, what a man, what a man

2007-02-27T21:29:00.000-05:00

I am lucky enough to be married to a great cook. I'm not too proud to admit he's a better cook than I am. For one thing, he's not afraid to try new things, and to play around with a recipe. Me, I won't even make a pasta sauce if I don't have the type of pasta recommended by the cookbook. Ryan has a very high tolerance for spicy food, so he's gotten into Thai and Indian cooking, with incredibly tasty results. However, he outdid himself this past weekend. First was Ginger Chicken, which he's made before. It never ceases to amaze me that I actually like this because I don't much like ginger, and this dish is FULL of it. Then it was Red Curry Chicken with Pineapple. That may be the first time a food has moved me to profanity. It was that good.

So, illness is sweeping my family. First it was Sammie, who woke us up a week ago Sun by throwing up in the bathtub. This past Saturday it was Hailey's turn - we thought we heard one of the kids cough, then we heard footsteps. It was Sammie, trying to find us to tell us Hailey threw up. Change the sheets, change the kid, back to bed, everything's okay. Until we hear crying through the night on Sunday. Ryan goes to the big girls' room to investigate and I hear him call my name, at the same time Hailey is telling him, "I fwowed up!" Funny note here - Sammie was still sleeping, so Ryan carried her to our bed to sleep there while we cleaned up. Once all was well, he moved her back. She woke up just as Ryan was asking Hailey if she'd had her teeth brushed yet. Hailey said no, and Sammie piped up with, "Yes we did!" Anyway, Monday was Rylee's turn. She threw up at least three times during the day. I finally called Telehealth Ontario, who recommended an oral rehydration solution. I figured she'd be alright and didn't bother. At 1 am she woke up crying, I fed her, and she threw up all over us both again. So at 2 am I took off for a 24 hour drugstore to buy pediatric electrolyte solution, and was up until about 3:30. Thank goodness The Hour is on at 3 am - I have a small crush on George Stromboloupoulous so he made it worth being awake at that time.

My girl

2007-02-23T22:35:00.000-05:00

Tonight Sammie went to the Rangers game with her daddy, who just got home from Montreal. They came home a little bit early because poor little Samster was falling asleep in her seat! Ryan is playing hockey tonight, so he brought Sammie in, got his stuff and left again, leaving me with some one on one time with Sam. I don't get a lot of that these days, with two more demanding little ones to take care of. I feel bad about that sometimes. She's only four, she still needs cuddles and hugs with Mommy. But because she's the oldest, she's the "big kid" and doesn't get as much of that affection. Of course, she got way more as a baby than the other two have because she had my undivided attention. Anyway, she curled up on the couch while I chatted with Ryan for a couple of minutes, then I went to her and put her on my lap. We cuddled like that for a little while, then got her pyjamas on and said prayers, and I carried her up to bed. That hasn't happened in a VERY long time, because I'm usually carrying Rylee. It was just so nice to have that time with her tonight. She never complains about not getting my attention, or about not getting cuddle time, but I know she loved getting it tonight. And so did I.

Notes on a Scandal

2007-02-22T22:16:00.000-05:00

Okay, let's say Jane and John Doe divorce after two years of marriage and two small children. Now let's say rumour starts circulating that Jane, who is fighting John for custody of the two small children, has been partying it up and flashing her womanly bits, and has checked in and out of rehab three times. In less than a week. Tell me Family and Children's Services would not be knocking on her door to investigate. And if the rumours were true? John would SO have custody.

Now, let's call Jane, oh, I don't know, Britney. And we'll call John Kevin. And instead of rumours, it's documented fact that she is out partying, letting everyone know she's going commando, checking in and out of rehab and shaving her head on an impulse that she almost immediately regrets. How is it that those boys are still living with her? Now, a friend has pointed out to me that while she may be the custodial parent, she is almost certainly not the primary caregiver, and in that case, as long as the nannies aren't indulging in the behaviour described above, she's okay.

I'm just saying.

Wow, my posts look weird without titles

2007-02-21T14:44:00.000-05:00

Another quick post - there are chores to be done, a kid to be picked up from the bus and Ash Wednesday services to attend (so maybe I should change out of my track pants and t-shirt) but I had to share.

I was grocery shopping yesterday (which is SO much better with only the child who can't run off - thank you sweetheart for taking over the other two, not that he reads my blog) and found a bread called Finland Rye. Now, Finland is where I discovered rye bread, and though it's not my favourite, I couldn't resist. It really seems like all kinds of things are bringing up Finland lately, so I decided it's a sign. Today I had some. I couldn't have it with my favourite toppings (summer sausage and dill pickles) so I made do with my second favourite - butter and Havarti cheese. I wasn't even sure that was the same kind of cheese, but once I bit into, I knew - oh, it so was the right cheese. There is NO way eating that on a regular basis is going to help me lose weight, but holy crap it was good. I bought summer sausage yesterday too, so I'll have that tomorrow (no meat today).

Still trying to figure out what to give up for Lent. I thought about giving up procrastinating, but maybe I'll do that next year :)Since it starts today, I should probably figure it out soon.

My grandmother is doing okay - she had chemo on Sat and still isn't sick from it. She may be released from hospital soon, but my mom and her siblings don't think she's okay to take care of herself, so they're looking into options. And our friend Chris (he of the head trauma) has been sent home! Yay Chris!

My kitchen is about the only room in my house that doesn't stress me out right now. It's the only one that doesn't feel cluttered or messy, which is something considering the girls and I made banana cake and banana muffins this week. Yes, there's a theme there - R and I both bought a bunch of bananas a day apart and they had to get used up before they went bad. There's a limit to how many bananas a family can eat just as bananas, and we were about at that limit. The cake and muffins all turned out very well.

Tonight is Lost and American Idol, as well as Little Mosque on the Prairie. I'm not in love with that last one, but Colin Mochrie is guest starring tonight, so I may have to check it out. I was SO mad that House was a re-run last night! Last week's Lost was really good, in my opinion, so I'm looking forward to tonight. Something to keep me company with R in Montreal. Again.

Quick notes from a non-functioning brain

2007-02-19T22:55:00.000-05:00

Too tired for a real post - Sammie was sick on the weekend, Rylee slept through the night on Saturday night (like from about 8 pm Sat to 7 am Sun), Hailey has decided she wants to be a doctor when she grows up (maybe I should tell her she can't be a doctor if she doesn't PEE ON A TOILET, the kid still does not want to use a toilet, no matter what approach I use)

Took the girls to visit my grandma again on Fri - she's not doing so well. There was some discussion about when (and, I think, if) Mim's chemo should start up again. Apparently round 2 started on Sat and she's doing okay. I haven't talked to my mom since she got home so I don't have any details yet.

Okay, I'm too tired to type. When you have to retype every word, and some words more than once, you should just go to bed.

Hyvaa Ystavanpaiva!

2007-02-14T20:39:00.000-05:00

That's Finn for Happy Friends Day, which is what they call Valentine's Day. I thought it was fabulous when I was there. I don't know how the holiday evolved differently in Finland than it did here, but the focus is really on friendship, and people make an effort to spend time with friends and show appreciation for them, rather than romantic partners.

So, in honour of Friends Day, I am publicly showing appreciation for my friends, most of whom probably won't even read this, but I'll feel good knowing I told anyone who stops by here what great friends I have.

Daph - my best American friend and the one who shared that bizarro year in Finland with me. After all this time, we are still close and there are still parts of me that don't get shared with anyone but you. Although our lives have gone in different directions, although we live in different time zones and different countries, you are still one of my best friends. The best thing to come out of my year away was my friendship with you. You got me through that year (well, we got each other through it, I think), and you've never stopped being there for me. "You're my best friend!"

Ismail, Darren, Monica, Shelley and Mel - the rest of the exchange student crew. You were also instrumental in helping me smile when Finland got to be too much. I'm so glad we're finally all in touch again, and would love to see you again sometime.

Sean, Kirby, Andrew, Jodi, Jess - my UW, V2 buddies. I felt so adrift when I came back from Finland. I had been part of such a close-knit group of friends, then came home and felt like I didn't fit in anywhere. Then I moved into North Quad and met all of you. We had an absolute blast over the next five years. I wish we were all still in the same city sharing the next chapter of our lives. Although we've drifted apart, you are still very important to me. You supported me through a lot of student years stupidity and shared many many good times. Hopefully some are still ahead.

Carrie, Marn, Kath - my fellow hockey widows. My mom told me that when she and my dad moved far from their families, their friends became their families. In the last six or seven years we have shared milestones like weddings, funerals, christenings and first homes, and ordinary fun stuff like camping trips, Oktoberfest, Rangers and Leafs games and ski trips. You have become my sisters. I don't know what I'd do without you.

Sarah, Christine and Jessica - my Highland buddies. I don't miss the drive to Cambridge, but I do miss working with you. I'm so glad we've kept in touch and still hang out.

Deb and Tanya - some of the best parts of the last school year were hanging out in the basement with you two, talking books and classroom management and coping strategies. I think both of you are fabulous teachers and your students are lucky to have dedicated, caring, giving professionals like you working with them. I love working with both of you (which is good, considering how closely Tanya and I have had to work!) and hope you stick around for a good long time.

Hey, maybe I should tell these people how much they mean, instead of just telling whoever happens by my blog. I think I'll go do that now.

Newsy post...sort of

2007-02-14T20:29:00.000-05:00

Not much is new around here. Hailey's cast is off, but she still holds her arm like it's on sometimes, and she's still using her left hand to eat (she was using the right pretty consistently before she broke that arm) Rylee's sleep patterns were pretty messed up for a week or so, but she's getting back on track now. She had her four month immunizations yesterday, and was pretty darn cranky about it, but is better now. Sammie's bus was cancelled today due to weather but she still wanted to go to school, so I dropped her off and picked her up.

We went to see my Mim in Windsor last weekend. She didn't look as bad as I was expecting, which is good news. She was just being moved from orthopedics back to oncology when we arrived. I can't figure out if that's good or not. I'm choosing to believe she was moved because the doctors think she's strong enough for the second round of chemo, in which case it's good that she was moved. While we were there, my aunt told us there was a birthday party that afternoon for my cousin's son, so we stopped by there too. Most of my aunts and uncles were there, including my uncle who lives in Florida, and a couple of my cousins were there too, so it was a great visit. None of them had seen Rylee yet, so they were thrilled that we stopped by. My cousin Ami would have kicked my butt from here to next week if she'd found out I was in Windsor and didn't call her, so it's good she was at the birthday party.

I'm keeping busy just trying to take care of the little ones and keep the house from being a complete and utter disaster. It took pretty much until yesterday to finally recover from having been away for a week and alone for a couple of weeks before that - there was so much laundry, and so much mess. I finally have most of it put away, and the rooms are tidied up, so I'm ready for round 2, or 5 or whatever we're at now. Ryan will be away for a couple of days again in the next week or so, which means I'm likely to get behind again.

She's a trooper!

2007-02-06T22:30:00.000-05:00

That's how the surgeon described my grandmother after her very successful surgery on her hip tonight. She was apparently awake and talking and generally doing well, and all the medical professionals are quite happy with how everything went and how she's doing now. I feel so relieved. Thanks to anyone who said prayers to whatever higher power you believe in. It worked.

On est de retour!

2007-02-06T20:29:00.000-05:00

Our vacation in Quebec was fabulous. Colder than cold needs to be, stupid-cold, but tonnes of fun. It turns out my terrified-of-skating daughter is a natural if you strap a pair of skiis on her feet! Who knew? The kid FREAKS out when we try to get her to skate, but skiing was a whole nother story.

Before we even went Ryan mentioned something to Sam about teaching her to ski, to which she loftily replied, "I already know how to ski. I saw some people do it on TV." (so then why can't you skate, was my thought, but never mind!) So we arrive in Beaupre on Sat too early to check into our chalet, so we drive the few minutes to Mont Ste Anne to check it out. We show Sammie the bunny hill and ask if she'd like to try skiing while we're there. She ended up throwing a fit because she couldn't go skiing THAT MINUTE. She was pretty ticked that she had to wait.

On Sun we went to Quebec City for Carnaval, and there was this little wee hill set up where kids could borrow ski equipment and try skiing, even have a short lesson, all for free. We asked Sam if she wanted to try it and she said yes, so Ryan signed her up. I thought for sure she'd throw a fit when she got those bulky boots on, and then the skiis, but she took to it like the proverbial duck to water. She did a run or two with Ryan, then climbed all over a snow drift in her ski boots, then took off for her lesson. I kept waiting for her to break down, but I don't think she ever stopped smiling.

We signed her up for a group lesson at Mont Ste Anne for Thurs morning. She ended up being the only kid signed up, so she had a one-on-one lesson for two and a half hours, during which she had a blast. The instructor kept telling us she was a natural, and was amazed at how much energy she had. Two and a half hours is a long time for a four year old to be out skiing in sub-zero temperatures, but she never slowed down and never stopped smiling. The only trouble was that the instructor couldn't get her to try turning, because, "I just like going fast!" So I think the 2010 Vancouver Olympics are a little too soon, but watch for her in 2014! (Okay, she'll only be 12, maybe 2022 is more realistic)

Other than the skiing, we did some sightseeing, went to a hockey game and spent lots of time at Carnaval (huge outdoor winter festival, for Daph and any others who may not be familiar with it) The temperature never went above 0 degrees Celsius but we had warm clothes and were fine, even Rylee, who slept through most of Carnaval.

Ryan was in Montreal for work the week before we left, so we decided I should just drive there and meet him, which meant a 7 hour drive by myself with the kids. I broke it up by driving to my parents' house on Thurs. The kids were awesome on the drive, Rylee slept and the other two watched a movie (I think - it's all running together now). On Fri morning I loaded them up and drove for about 3 hours, when I stopped because Sammie and I were getting hungry (Rylee and Hailey were sleeping). After a good long stop, we got back in the van and drove to Montreal, with not a peep from the baby. It was great for me, and I heartily thank whoever created those DVD players that go in your vehicle! On Sat we drove to Quebec, and Rylee only started crying when we were leaving Quebec City, about 4 hours after her last feeding. It was awesome.

The drive home SUCKED!!!!!!! It was probably the worst weather I've ever driven through, not that I was driving, and just when the weather got better, Hailey decided she'd had enough (we'd been on the road about 9 hours at this point) and just started wigging out. She was crying and turning away M&M's and 12 Dancing Princesses, and telling me she loved me and saying she wanted Daddy, who was right in front of her. I got pretty scared, but I think it was just too much driving and not enough sleep. She slept soundly that night and has been fine ever since.

So that was our holiday. The night we got home a watermain broke and we were supposed to be boiling our water as a precaution, only we didn't know, but we're all okay. I found out when I got home from Sammie's gymnastics class on Mon morning and there was a message from someone who works with my neighbour at Rogers Television, asking if he could talk to me on camera about my experience with it. He talked me into it, so I was on local TV last night (with Rylee).

Now for the downer (assuming anyone is still reading at this point)...my grandmother has very advanced non-Hodgkins lymphoma - stage 4 I believe. She has started chemo and didn't get too sick, but she fell and broke her hip in an ill-fated attempt to prove she could get around on her own so she could go home. She also has blood clots in her leg, so she had surgery this afternoon to put in a filter so the clots can't get to her heart. She should be in surgery this minute to put a pin in her hip. My mom is supposed to call as soon as she hears how the surgery went. We don't really have a prognosis at this point, but it doesn't look good. I will likely post again after I hear from my mom.

And how was YOUR week?

We're off to Timbuktu...

2007-01-24T22:16:00.000-05:00

...where we've apparently been many times!

Cute Hailey story #1: Hailey asks me to play with her. I tell her I can't. She asks why not. I say, "Because I'm getting some things ready for when we go away." She asks where we're going. She's been climbing the walls since Sunday about going to Grandpa's house, and I've told her about 800000000 times where we're going, so in frustration I say, "Timbuktu!" She drops her hands to her sides and with a long-suffering look says, "A-GAIN?"

Cute Hailey story #2: I was discussing this second child phenomenon with a neighbour (I'll call her C) on Mon - how her oldest is absolutely devastated if she gets in trouble, but the second child isn't fazed in the least, and in the middle of C yelling at her daughter (who is Sammie's age) she looks at her and says, "Mommy, you're more beautiful when you smile." I told her about how Hailey will constantly say, "Mommy? Mommy?" and then say nothing or ask something like where are we going when she's been told 80000000 times, so when she says, "Mommy?" for the tenth time I say, "WHAT?" in a very exasperated tone, whereupon she says, "I love you," and I feel like the worst mother in the world. So Mon after Sammie gets home I take all three kids out to do some errands, and we end up at the mall because we need groceries, and Hailey needs mittens and we need to eat. The two who are independently mobile took full advantage of the fact and ran off more than once. By the time we left I was absolutely at the end of my rope. As we're walking down the hall toward the doors, out of nowhere Hailey says, "Mommy, you're beautiful."

My dad called today to say he finally talked to my mom. My grandmother starts chemo tomorrow, and will be going home 7-10 days later. Earlier reports had suggested she would be in a hospital or nursing home or something for quite some time, so I'm surprised by this news. Hopefully it means she's not as sick as originally thought. However, my sister called Mim today, then called me in shock and said, "She sounds terrible." Considering this is coming from not only a devoted granddaughter but a trained and practicing nurse, that can't be good.

So, we're not actually off to Timbuktu, but we are going on vacation.! I'm SO looking forward to it. This year has been rather stressful already, and we're not even a month into it.

Two steps forward, one step back

2007-01-22T13:47:00.000-05:00

Hailey is doing really well with this cast on her arm. It's barely even slowing her down anymore. The only time it seems to be a problem is when bathing her or when she's trying to find a comfortable position to sleep - but even that's getting easier. She just grabs the cast with her left hand and throws it wherever she wants it to go. It's cute to watch. It's also difficult to put on mittens, and some long sleeved shirts, which may prove to be a problem when we go to Carnaval, but we think we'll manage.

Our friend Chris is also doing well. I'm not sure why I post updates about Chris since anyone reading this is probably getting updates from the same sources I am, but what the heck. Apparently he was allowed to leave the hospital for a meal on the weekend. Ryan went to visit him Sat morning and said he seemed well. He really wants to get out of the hospital and who can blame him? His vision must be clearing up too because he's watching TV and has now been given the PSP that some of his friends and teammates chipped in for.

So those are the two steps forward. Now for the one step back.

My grandmother has an appointment today to get the results of her biopsy. My mom went to down on Sat to be with her and take her to the appointment today. However, my sister called yesterday to wish them luck, and learned that Mom had taken Mim back to the hospital as she had more fluid in her lungs. Today my dad called to say that the ER doctor told them the cancer she has is very aggressive. They will be meeting with an oncologist today or tomorrow to get more details, but for now, it doesn't look like she's going back to her apartment anytime soon. Apparently once they talk to the oncologist they will have to decide whether to go ahead with treatment or now. Dad thinks that if they decide not to treat it, we're looking at a matter of months. I don't know what the prognosis is if they go for the chemo and everything. My guess is, if it's not going to give her significantly more time, they'll decide the side effects aren't worth it.

That's all for now.

On health and well-being

2007-01-19T23:11:00.000-05:00

Took Hailey to the hospital this morning. The doctor said he'd looked at her x-rays and she does NOT need surgery (insert sigh of relief here), just a cast for 3 weeks. So that's on there now, from above her elbow to her wrist, and she's doing marvellously well with it. She can even lift her arm over her head now, which makes dressing and undressing her much easier. Not a tear was shed, she's still being a real little trooper. When the staff at the hospital asked her how it happened, she still said, "I don't bemember," (that's not a typo, just a transcription of the way she talks), although she has said more than once that she hurt it on her toys.

My dad was here for a couple of days, since taking care of the three of them on my own with Hailey's broken arm was just a bit more than I could take. Since retiring from a bank, Dad has worked for himself and was able to take a couple of days to come help me out, which I appreciate more than I can say (I don't know if my parents or sister read this blog but if you do, tell Dad again how much that meant to me).

I spoke with my grandmother tonight. Mom's been telling me how much better she sounds but tonight she was coughing a lot again. She says she feels much better other than the cough, so I suppose that's an improvement. She will get the results of her biopsy on Monday, so Mom is going to visit and take her to the appointment, which is necessary since my grandmother doesn't drive. (I told Hailey today that Mimi never learned how to drive, and she said, "You can show her." Sweet little clueless thing)

I could fill a paragraph or two with details of Rylee's sleep patterns lately, but even I'm getting sick of reading about that. Suffice to say I have learned to avoid caffeine, and when I do, she sleeps quite well.

I was reading a friend's blog and a particular post about weight loss. It got me thinking - why DO I want to lose 10 more pounds? Is it for health? to look better? to look a particular way? because I think I'm not attractive if I don't? because I think my husband won't find me attractive? I haven't really come up with an answer yet. Mostly I felt good about how I looked before I got pregnant with Rylee, and would like to have that feeling again. But do I really need to lose 10 pounds to feel that way? I'm not sure. Women who are comfortable with and confident in their bodies can be attractive no matter what their size. Maybe I just need to accept the way I look and start telling myself how fabulous I am.

I think a big part of why I want to lose the weight is I hate looking pregnant when I'm not. When I was pregnant, I was happy to advertise the fact to the world, and felt really good about how I looked. But now, when I'm not pregnant, it's different. And I do still look pregnant because most of what I'm carrying around is around my middle. This is partly not excess weight, but untoned abdominal muscles, thanks to having them sliced open for the third time since mid-2002 (3, count 'em, 3 c-sections)

I don't know if I'm unhealthy - I don't think so. As I said, the way I look is as much loss of muscle tone as it is extra weight. And I'm still nursing Rylee, so there's some extra weight there that won't go away until I stop nursing. As it is, the amount of extra weight I have is not excessive, so I doubt I'm running any serious health risks at this point.

As I said, I don't have an answer yet. It's interesting to think about, though.

Not so happy news

2007-01-16T14:38:00.000-05:00

My mom called last night to say it looks like my grandma has lymphoma - cancer in the lymph nodes under her arms and in her stomach (I didn't even know there were lymph nodes there!) She was having a biopsy done today to confirm the diagnosis but it sounds like the doctor is already pretty sure that's what it is. We'll know more next week.

That's all for now because it's very hard to type with the baby sleeping on my chest.

On today's episode of ER...

2007-01-15T11:01:00.000-05:00

Well, according to the research I've done, there's good news and bad news about Hailey's broken wing. The good news is that it's a very common fracture in children, usually caused by the child stretching out a hand to break a fall. This supports our theory that she fell off the bed when she was supposed to be napping. (We think she was playing instead of sleeping and that's why she won't tell us what happened.) If the bone is only broken in two, and the bone fragments didn't move from where they're supposed to be, all that's required is a splint for about 3 weeks and she should be fine.

The bad news is that this kind of fracture can be very serious. If the bone fragments move, she will need surgery. The surgeon will put in a pin to hold the bones in place while they heal. The more fragments there are, the more serious the fracture. And in moving, the fragments can rupture the brachial artery, leading to permanent disformity of the hand and forearm.

Right now I don't think there's anything we can do other than make sure she doesn't make it worse. We'll be taking it easy this week, lots of quiet games and movie watching, and then go see the specialist on Friday. He will decide then whether she needs surgery or not, and she'll get a cast at that time.

It looked like it was going to be a long night last night. Rylee wouldn't settle down and poor little Hailey couldn't. Hailey and I switched beds last night, and I think it was a while before Ryan actually got to sleep because Hailey kept waking up crying every time she tried to move. She finally fell asleep and the rest of us did too, and we all slept pretty well after that, until about 5 am, when Rylee would not go back to sleep and I just couldn't hold her anymore, so I brought her into bed with Sammie and me. I did not sleep well after that.

She seems to be doing well now - she's walking around, playing on the computer and even trying to play Barbies with Sammie. She hasn't had Tylenol for about 4 hrs and isn't complaining, so that's a good sign. That's about all there is to tell now - hopefully it'll be an uneventful week as far as her arm goes and there won't be anything to tell until we go to the fracture clinic on Friday.

In other medical news, our friend with the head injury is recovering much faster than the doctors expected, which is good news. He's been moved to a different hospital to start rehab and is making great strides. My grandmother is still in hospital but is getting better. She's had a lot of fluid drained from her lungs and is having a CAT scan today. If it's all good, she'll go home today.

Continued good wishes for Chris, Hailey and my grandma would be appreciated.

Poor little bird with a broken wing

2007-01-14T17:37:00.000-05:00

Well, I had planned to do a post with the title Nine Dancing Princesses all about Hailey's princess birthday party yesterday, with six of her little friends. We had a total of nine little girls here, from Rylee at 3 mos to Sarah, who will be 5 in March. It was great, Oma and Opa came, and much fun was had.

Today after Mass, Ryan's parents were just getting ready to leave when his mom said Hailey was crying. I had thought I heard her earlier but figured she was just mad because she had to go for a nap and no one was staying with her. Ryan came back down with her in his arms and said, "I think she broke her arm." He bundled her up and took her to the hospital, while I picked Sammie up from her friend's house and took her to her first skating lesson. They got home just after we did and her arm is indeed broken - she has a supracondylar fracture of her right arm. That means her humerus is broken just above the elbow joint, a clean break. She has to see a specialist on Friday and may need surgery - this is apparently a very bad break for a little kid. She barely cried when it happened - Ryan's mom only heard her cry when she was at the bottom of the stairs - and Ryan said she barely cried at the hospital either. She's watching a movie right now and seems okay. Ryan tried to take her to Tim Horton's for a treat after they left the hospital, but she didn't want anything. Sammie wanted to go see Hailey at the hospital as soon as I told her, and is being extra nice to her little sister now. Poor little trooper.

All else is well. Rylee is going to bed earlier now, and still sleeping for long stretches at night. I have even started putting her down for naps while she's still awake, and she drifts off on her own - some of the time. Sammie is now doing soccer, gymnastics and skating lessons. Soccer and gymnastics are going well, the jury's still out on the skating. Today was the first lesson and it didn't go so well, but I think it'll get better as she gains confidence and gets more comfortable with her instructors.

My grandmother was hospitalized this weekend with fluid in her lungs. My mom went to spend the weekend with her (which is why Grandma and Grandpa weren't at Hailey's party) and I haven't heard an update yet.

Please send happy thoughts to Hailey and my Mimi!

Happy Birthday Princess Hailey!

2007-01-09T14:03:00.000-05:00

Just in case I don't get a chance to post later, I wanted to publicly wish Hailey a happy birthday. Her princess birthday party will be this weekend, but for today, we're going to let her choose her dinner, and she's going to a Rangers game with Daddy - just the two of them. Right now, though, we need to clean her royal bedchamber. I'll try to blog later tonight, but there are two new episodes of House on tonight, so blogging may wait until tomorrow!

For weekend update...

2007-01-08T22:18:00.000-05:00

I should definitely be in bed. Or exercising. Instead, I'm checking out my friends blogs, checking my email and generally wasting time in front of the computer. Life is good.

We made a quick stop in London on Sat to see our friend Chris (the one who suffered the head injury on New Year's Day) Ryan said Chris looked good - he recognized Ryan and laughed when our friend Ed suggested that he (Ed) was a faster skater than Chris. I just found out he's been moved to a different hospital to begin rehab, which can only be good.

After that, it was on to see the inlaws. We had a nice visit - all of Ryan's siblings were around, so we saw them all, plus the inlaws-to-be. This year Ryan's family welcomes three new members - a grandchild in April (Carianne's 2nd child), a son-in-law in July (Rosalie's getting married) and a daughter-in-law in September (Tim's getting married). It wasn't very eventful, other than Sammie got her hair cut - it's a chin-length bob now, very cute. The hope was that it would make her baby-fine hair look a little fuller (she got Ryan's colouring but my hair texture), and it does, somewhat. It's really cute, anyway, and she loves it. Then Hailey got her bangs cut, but that wasn't enough for her, so my mother-in-law took off just the tiniest little bit from the ends, just to make Hailey happy. You can't even tell she did it, but Hailey proudly informed her daddy she got her hair cut, too.

I have designed a little exercise program in my head, to help me get some muscle tone back and lose some weight. I have a plan to ease into some cardio, which will take advantage of the elliptical trainer that's been in the basement for ages. I know I need to do some core toning and strengthening, which I need to find out more about. In the meantime, I came up with some things today I could do with Rylee, so I don't have to wait until she's asleep to get some exercise.

Now that Sammie's back in school, I feel like the holidays are officially over. It's time to get back into a routine, stop eating crap 24-7, clean up this house and just generally get back on track. I let things go over the holidays, which I don't feel guilty for - I deserved a holiday too! But now it's over and time to get back to reality, for my own sanity.

Oh, and apparently Hailey wants a reindeer for her birthday. We think maybe she misunderstood the question, especially since when Ryan told her he couldn't get her a reindeer she told him we already have one. Although, there could well be one on the dining room table right now without anyone noticing...

PS - Daph - yes, bouillabaisse looks right. And thanks for fixing my grammar!

Jodi, don't read this!

2007-01-03T22:07:00.000-05:00

Rylee is sleeping better than ever lately. It's like she made a New Year's Resolution - she partied hard on New Year's Eve, but has been going to sleep earlier ever since. Last night she fell asleep during House. I put her in her crib around 10. When she started crying this morning, I got up and went to feed her without looking at the clock. I was SHOCKED when I heard Ryan's alarm go off while I was feeding her. Tonight was the earliest so far - I put her in her bed somewhere between 8 and 9, and she didn't start crying. I think she woke up when I put her down, but she never cried, and eventually drifted off to sleep - something neither of her sisters ever did. I'd love to think it's something to do with my stellar parenting, but after three babies, I know it's nothing to do with me at all. I remember thinking when Sammie was a baby that it was something we were doing right. Then Hailey came along, and no matter what I did, that kid didn't sleep.

We were watching some videos of the days immediately following Hailey's birth tonight. We had both forgotten how dark her hair was at birth. I've been telling everybody she had brown hair, like Rylee does, but it was really dark! So maybe Rylee will end up being as fair haired as her sisters. And resemblance? I thought it was a video of Rylee's birth until I realized Ryan's hair was different. Hailey at birth was identical to Rylee at birth. This makes me happy, because Sammie and Hailey are much closer in age than Hailey and Rylee, and look SO much alike, I was worried Rylee would feel like the odd kid out.

Anyway, in other news, we have a new fish tank. It replaced the small one my sister bought as a present for Hailey, who was very into fish for a while. (She's into horses now, but fortunately, my sister's budget does not extend to horses) It needs new fish, freshwater fish who don't mind some current and can live with the harlequins, the cardinal tetra and the cori (sp?) who already live there, preferably colourful. Suggestions?

Oh, and Rylee laughed for the first time last night. Ryan said she almost laughed on NYE, it was like she was trying but couldn't quite figure out how to get the sound out. Last night he was tickling her stomach with his nose while I changed her, and she actually laughed. It was such a sweet sound, and all the better because we were both there to hear it.

Life continues to be busy. Sammie is in soccer and gymnastics, as well as school, of course, and will be starting skating lessons soon (she still says she's going to be a Ranger someday - Kitchener Ranger, not New York). Hailey is not currently in any activities, although I may enroll her in swimming lessons again. She turns 3 next week - unbelievable. I am trying to get the house undecorated, and finish tidying up from our various holiday adventures. I would love to just curl up for a weekend with my new books and my scrapbooking, but that's much easier said than done with three - count 'em, three - kids, especially a wee one. I've heard more than one person say the first three months are the hardest, and Rylee will be three months next week, so here's hoping those people know what they're talking about. She is getting more settled now. I was re-reading Hailey's first year calendar yesterday - I had forgotten how long it took to get her sleeping in her crib instead of our bed. I'm SO glad Rylee made that transition already, and so easily.

So, yes, life is busy, but good. On more than one occasion over the holidays I looked around and smiled and thought (and sometimes even said), "I'm happy." I have a husband who loves me and who I love (that sounds very grammatically wrong, but I can't figure out what it should be). I have three healthy, beautiful children. I have a job I truly enjoy, a nice place to live, enough food to eat, enough money to provide my family with the things we need and some things we don't need but want, we're all generally healthy...on the whole, there's very little to complain about. I am grateful.

Speechless

2007-01-02T22:27:00.000-05:00

I just found out a friend fell down a flight of stairs on New Year's Day and has apparently suffered a serious head injury as a result. He is in hospital and unresponsive right now. Please ask whatever higher power you believe in to watch over this guy.

I had more stuff to talk about but it seems unimportant right now. I need to digest this news. Please keep Chris in your thoughts.

Are the holidays over yet?

2007-01-01T20:43:00.000-05:00

Not to sound like a Scrooge or anything, but it's been a busy holiday, and I'm about ready for it to be over. Everyone got at least a little bit sick, and we had many parties, but it's all winding down now.

Christmas was good, but weird. I've never in my life had a Christmas with so few people around. It was just our little family of five. It was nice not to be on the road, and not to pack all the presents and stuff and have to haul them around. We had a quiet day and basically got ready for our party the next day. Ryan's cousins on his dad's side always get together on Boxing Day, and this year we hosted the shindig. A couple of Ryan's cousins are married to women I really like and enjoy being with, and they came out, so it was a good time. All of Ryan's siblings made it, and some stayed overnight. On Dec 27 we opened our home to an annual gathering with friends. It used to be hosted by friends who moved to Washington this summer, so we volunteered our house as it would already be in party mode from the Boxing Day bash. That was also a good time.

We did some post-Christmas shopping, ate out a lot (Ryan decided to steam clean the carpet in our living and dining rooms, and we still haven't finished putting things back) and rested. Last night we went to a small New Year's gathering with friends, the first such gathering without kids in many years (we brought Rylee, but all the rest of the kids were with babysitters).

Rylee continues to sleep well, although she normally doesn't fall asleep until 11 or 12. She will stay asleep for 6 or more hours, though, so it's hard to complain (and REALLY hard to get sympathy from other moms of babies!) We couldn't get her to settle last night at the party, though, so she was exhausted today. She's asleep now, but I don't know how long it will last. She also eats well and seems to be gaining weight and is generally content, so I guess all is well.

I haven't really made any resolutions this year. I would like to lose the last of the baby weight, and get some muscle tone back, ideally by late March (I have a conference to go to and would like to be back in my regular clothes looking good by then, plus I start back to work in April), and would like to get Hailey potty trained by the time I go back to work, but that's more about her than me. She will be three next week, and insists she's not a big girl yet, and doesn't want to be.

Ryan's youngest brother is getting married in September, and he and his fiancee have asked Sammie and Hailey to be flower girls. Hailey said yes and Sammie said no, but we told them we'll change her mind by then. She is just painfully shy sometimes - she wouldn't even open her Christmas presents from her godparents with all her aunts and uncles around.

There's probably more to tell, but I got a whole lot of books for Christmas, and I just heard the kettle boil, so I think I'll go have some tea or hot chocolate, some of the chocolate cake Ryan's mom sent, and hang out with my husband, watching the Leafs or reading or something. When I remember what else has happened that's worth posting about, and have some time, I'll post again.

Oh, one more thing - my grandmother is not well. She has an upper respiratory infection. She is my last surviving grandparent, and the only one I've ever felt I really knew. Please send happy thoughts and well wishes her way.

At least it FEELS like Christmas. Sort of.

2006-12-23T15:40:00.000-05:00

Well, my parents, sister and brother-in-law (sort of - they're not actually married, but they live together) came last night for a Christmas get-together. My parents will be in Windsor with Mom's family for Christmas, and my sister will be at home because she has to work (she's a nurse) so we got together to exchange gifts today. It was great. My mom went so overboard buying gifts that even she knew she bought too much, but everyone loved their gifts, so everyone was happy. We all bought Mom and Dad tickets to the final weekend of the Tim Hortons Brier, which we saved for the last gift. When Mom realized what it was, she burst into tears and could only repeat, "This is awesome." So, I guess we done good.

So because of all that, it feels somewhat Christmas-y, but I tell ya, the lack of snow is just not doing it for me. I mean, why did I move to the edge of the snowbelt if I can't even have a white Christmas? I ask you! (I asked Rylee but she had no answer for me.) It is just not right that I went to meet Sammie coming off the bus on her last day of school before Christmas, and I had to bring an umbrella! (Or as Hailey calls it, a birella) On December 22!! Again I say, it just ain't right. I know some of you never, or almost never, have white Christmases, but I usually do and dang it, I want one! I mean, we had snow the day Rylee was born, for heaven's sake! In October!

One of my favourite things about this time of year is that most of my friends get at least some time off of work, which seems to allow for more chances to get together. Since my family does not live nearby, my friends are very important. Now that we all have small children, there don't seem to be as many chances to get together. We had a good visit last night with some of them at our friends' annual holiday open house, and will be seeing most if not all of our friends who live around here twice more next week. I'm looking forward to that.

To sum up - feeling good because of good family gathering, not good because of lack of snow. Overall, more good than not. I have a wonderful family and fabulous friends, and at this time of year, I don't feel I need anything more.

Bikini update (that one's for Daph!)

2006-12-19T14:14:00.000-05:00

Okay, quick post. Rylee is sleeping and has been for a while, so I don't know how much longer it will last. She actually slept through for two nights (Sat and Sun) but was up twice through the night last night (although not for long either time, and the first time I think she was just cold - she had kicked off her blankets). The whole sleep thing is getting much better. Yay!

Almost ready for Christmas. Like most people around here, I seem to have a hard time feeling Christmas-y without snow, but I'm trying. The kids help - they're so excited that I get a little excited too. Just a few more things to buy and wrap and we should be all set. We're hosting a lot of Christmas/holiday parties in the next week, so in the next few days we have a lot of cleaning to do - thank goodness I'm not married to a man who thinks that's entirely my job (I wouldn't be married to him very long if he did!)

Well, that's all the time I can spare right now. Maybe in about a week or so things will settle down somewhat and I can take a large part of Rylee's nap time to blog. Yeah right. And maybe I'll win the lottery too.

Whatever you're celebrating this time of year, I hope it's happy and joyous. Happy and Peaceful 2007 to everyone!

Christmas can be confusing...

2006-12-14T23:09:00.000-05:00

So, we're on our way to swimming lessons tonight, and Sammie is singing Jingle Bells. As she's singing about the one horse open sleigh, she stops and says, "It's not Opa's sleigh, it's Santa's sleigh!"

And apparently, according to Hailey, that red-nosed reindeer's name is Rudo. I don't think she's intentionally shortening it, she just thinks his name is Rudo (not to be confused, of course, with Rudy, who is the aforementioned Opa)

They're so cute.

Joe?

2006-12-13T08:53:00.000-05:00

I know a few Joes, but I'm guessing the one who left a comment for me was Joe Martz (whose work is featured on the site Joe's Camera, which is one of my links at the side) Am I right?

I can feel it coming in the air tonight...

2006-12-10T15:50:00.000-05:00

Blah. Something unpleasant is sweeping through my family. It started with Sammie on Monday. I was woken up by Hailey coming into my room and saying, "Mommy, Sammie fwew up." On Friday night, I was giving Hailey a hug when she said, "My tummy hurts." I gently suggested it might be time to stop eating the Christmas candy Grandma has around the house when she made a strange noise. I ran to the bathroom with her and held her over the toilet just in time. Last night it was my turn. I thought I had just eaten too much at dinner (my mom made one of my favourites) or had overindulged in said Christmas candy. I ended up throwing up twice, and am still only on toast, crackers and juice for now. For dinner I'm thinking of going crazy and having some soup. My mom was going to make a great roast beef dinner, but I suggested this morning we change the plan, which we did.

Other than that, we've been having a great visit with my parents. My kids get spoiled rotten, I get to read all day long with occasional breaks to feed Rylee and my parents get to hang out with their favourite kids (note to my sister - I mean the little ones, not me!) I also got to do some shopping, and my parents got Rylee to take a bottle again, so all in all it's been a good trip so far.

Not much else new. My friend Sean, from my UW days, became a father recently. His little boy is absolutely adorable. I would love to get together with all my UW/V2 friends who are now scattered around the province (well, continent, actually, since one is living in San Francisco) - if any of you are reading this, what do you think?

Speaking of reuniting with old friends, I found a book here at my parents' house about the city where I lived in Finland, and found a picture of Daph and me from a Finnish newspaper that was taken at the Oulu market shortly before we left. It was such a blast, looking through that book and seeing the Ball, Rotuaari, and so many other familiar places. Strange how familiar they looked and how clear the memories were even though it's been 14 years. So, Finnbounds, when are we getting together?

Hmmm...I suppose I have an obligation to check on my children, although I'm sure Mom and Dad have everything under control. I feel bad dumping my kids on them, but on the other hand, I just plain have felt bad most of today. I am just SO glad I wasn't home alone with the 3 of them when I got sick.

Miss you, miss you, oh my soul

2006-12-06T23:34:00.000-05:00

MIA for a few days there ... my internet connection failed me, and without my resident IT guy, I couldn't fix it. I spoke with said IT guy tonight, and lo and behold, here I am.

The girls are still fairly cranky, but not too bad. Off to Grandma and Grandpa's tomorrow night which should put everyone in a better mood. To hear Hailey tell it, we're going to Dwama and Dwampa's after fwimming lessons. She's so cute. Part of me worries a bit because I know Sammie didn't sound like that at the same age, but I think she just spoke well early. Hailey's right on target. I hope.

Sleep has been an issue for Rylee lately, but she went down well tonight, so hopefully we're in for a better night. Last night was okay once I got her to sleep somewhere other than my arms, but then Sammie and Hailey appeared in my room around 2:30 am. I almost left them there and went to sleep in their bed, but mine is more comfortable :)

And snow...much more of it fell, and not the light fluffy stuff of a few days ago. Oh no, now it's heavy wet snow, the kind that is fabulous if you want to make a snow man or build a snow fort, but not so fab if you have to shovel it. Which I did.

Anyway, it's stupidly late, and I really need some sleep. More posts should be forthcoming once I get to Mom and Dad's and have someone else to hold Rylee while I type.

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas...

2006-12-04T16:23:00.000-05:00

We got the tree up and decorated on Sat, and the outdoor lights have been up for a while. We got a few more decorations around the house too, and Mother Nature did her part by dumping a few inches of light, fluffy snow yesterday and last night. I had the pleasure of shoveling the first December snow this morning - lucky me. It was, as I said, light and fluffy and there wasn't too much, but I still think Ryan timed this latest California training very conveniently! It's not his fault, and it could have been worse - he was originally supposed to go right around when Rylee was due, and switched it to now. Then the trip almost got stretched to 3 weeks because he was going to have to go to Winnepeg, but fortunately that was avoided.

So anyway, I've been alone with the girls for the better part of two days now. Sammie is old enough to understand now that Daddy is far far away, and to actually miss him, not just say she misses him. She cried the night before he left. Hailey still doesn't get it - we told her Daddy is gone for two weeks, but she still thought he might be downstairs when she got out of the bath last night.

Normally, my girls are very well behaved. I'm actually very fortunate, because they rarely act up in public, and not often at home either. Of course, as soon as Daddy leaves, that goes out the window, or at least it has this time. Unfortunately, I've had things I had to do, so staying home hasn't been an option. As a result, Hailey has missed her nap for two days in a row. It will be early to bed tonight, and definitely no missing the nap tomorrow! She does NOT deal with lack of sleep very well (can't imagine where she gets that from!) Everytime Ryan goes away, I am reminded of how much respect and admiration I have for people who do this single parent thing all the time, and do it well. We will be off to Grandma and Grandpa's for a visit while Ryan's gone, which should do wonders for my sanity.

Rylee is still doing well with the sleep thing at night. Day time sleep has gotten better since I've started swaddling her for naps, too. On Sat she actually slept a couple of hours on the couch, so I was able to do some stuff around the house. Yesterday she slept most of the day as we went to church and walked around the mall. Today has been pretty good, she fell asleep on my shoulder while I checked email so I put her in the crib so I could have two hands to type. However, she's waking up now so I must wrap up. More tomorrow, hopefully.

Stop, hey, what's that sound?

2006-11-29T22:02:00.000-05:00

Well, it's 10 pm and I'm exhausted. So was Rylee, who didn't sleep much today but still refused to fall asleep until a few minutes ago. I think. I'm actually just on the computer because I don't want to walk downstairs and have to come back up in five minutes when she wakes up. This is the third time I've put her in the crib and I heard her still murmuring for a while but I don't hear her now, so here's hoping...

We went to Sammie's school today for an observation session. It was so cute to watch her working with her little friends. We got to see some of her work, and talk to her teacher. Apparently she's doing well in everything except scissor usage. She holds the scissors with her index and middle fingers over her thumb, but she's making it work for her. To think I've worked so much with her on colours, letters, numbers, etc and all this time she should have been practicing cut and paste :)

The woman who babysat Sammie and Hailey for the first few weeks of the school year watched Hailey and Rylee while I was at Sammie's school. Hailey was very happy about going there again, and not at all happy when I came to take her home. Rylee was apparently not quite so happy about the whole thing, but it was only an hour, and it was her first time having someone other than Mommy or Daddy take care of her...no, wait, my dad watched her for about an hour one night, too. Oh, and I forgot to mention earlier, she will now take an ounce or two from a bottle! Ryan's brother's girlfriend got her to drink from the bottle on Sun at the family do, and the babysitter managed a bit today. Yippee!

The appointment yesterday went well - the ob said everything seems to be healing well and I can resume all my normal activities, including exercise. Now I just have to figure out what form of exercise I would like to resume/begin. I've been trying to watch what I eat for now, which is helping with the weight loss. I'm not dieting - I know I still need extra calories while I'm nursing - I'm just trying to make healthier choices. I think I'm doing pretty well.

Okay, strange sounds are coming from the nursery...I guess I'd better wrap up in case those sounds turn into cries.

Author of note

2006-11-28T11:07:00.000-05:00

I forgot to mention - if you're a fan of brit-chick-lit, like Bridget Jones or the Shopaholic series, you should check out Melissa Nathan. I've read The Nanny, The Waitress and The Learning Curve, and thoroughly enjoyed them all. The acknowledgements in the last one mentioned that in all probability the novel was going to be published posthumously, so this may be all there is to enjoy of her writing. If you're into that genre, check out these books.

Update: I googled Melissa Nathan, she did indeed pass away this year, but she has written a few more books that I didn't know about, so I'll be looking for those when I head to the library tomorrow. I'll post about them if they're any good.

A few stolen moments

2006-11-28T10:19:00.000-05:00

Quick update - Rylee has been sleeping for over an hour, so I don't know how much longer I have before she wakes up!

My sister and dad came over on Saturday and we all had a nice visit, which ended with her driving away in my car. Sigh. That was the first car I ever bought, and I loved it. It will be missed. I may be getting it back from her, or she and her boyfriend may buy it from us. We'll see.

We did our family Christmas photo on Sat morning - what an ordeal! Hailey would NOT co-operate. Thank goodness it was a digital camera because it probably would have been a roll and a half of film and she came close to smiling in one or two. The rest were pretty much unuseable. The final result is quite nice, though, and if I ever figure out how to post pictures, maybe I'll do that one.

On Sun we had a family Christmas gathering with Ryan's mom's side of the family, which was nice. While there, Ryan's brother mentioned they needed players for his hockey team that night, so Ryan decided to race home, get his hockey stuff and a few things we needed to spend the night at his parents' place, and try to join his brother for hockey. Turned out his brother had the time wrong, but we had a nice visit anyway.

On the sleep front, Rylee is consistently sleeping 5-7 hours at a stretch at night, but is still difficult to get to sleep. On Saturday night she fell asleep around 9 pm and slept until about 5 am! It was lovely. At Ryan's parents' house she would NOT sleep in that crib no matter what, so she shared the bed with us. I was tired and cranky yesterday. Last night she let herself be rocked to sleep around 10 pm after throwing up on me while I tried to feed her. She woke up around 4 and only kept me up for about 30 min, so I'm much happier today.

Today I have my follow-up appointment with my obstetrician, so hopefully I'll get the green light to start doing basically everything I did before Rylee was born (she was a c-section birth so I was told not to exercise for six weeks, other than walking) I am losing weight quite well, so I'm hoping that I can start exercising now and lose the rest. It's only about 15 lbs, and I'm hoping to lose it and look like I did before I got pregnant by the time I go to the OMLTA conference at the end of March.

Last week I was able to put on non-maternity pants and have them mostly fit! I wore a pair of track pants for a day, which doesn't sound that exciting but I had tried them a few weeks before and they were uncomfortable, so I was happy. Then I tried on a pair of jeans, and was able to do them up! Now, they're about a size bigger than I was wearing before I got pregnant, and I couldn't keep them on and actually wear them, but I'm getting somewhere. Considering Rylee is only 7 weeks old, I think I'm doing pretty well.

Well, after a certain length of time on the computer, guilt sets in. I feel like I should be spending time with the girls, especially since Sammie will be at school this afternoon and I don't get a lot of time to spend with them without Rylee crying or at least being in my arms. So I will go hang out with my girly-cues, and try to post again soon-ish.

PS Thoughts on the new look?

I'm still here - honest!

2006-11-23T14:09:00.000-05:00

Rylee is not sleeping well. Well, I shouldn't say that. If I can get her to sleep, she sleeps well. Most evenings she starts screaming just after dinner and doesn't settle down until 10 or 11 pm. Tuesday night by 11:30 she still wasn't settled and I just couldn't hold her anymore, so she slept in our bed. Last night I managed to calm her by taking her to her room (less noise, softer light) and swaddling her, but she still didn't go to sleep for good until 10:30. She woke up at 1 am to eat and by 3 am I was still up with her, so I finally brought her back into my bed again. I hate doing it, but I needed the sleep. I know the problem is that she needs to burp - but then why will she sleep in my bed if she still hasn't burped? I don't know. Most nights I'm getting a good 5 or 6 hours straight out of her, and a few nights ago we did much better on the going back to sleep after feeding and burping. Anyway, she's sleeping now, in her car seat, which I know isn't as good as sleeping flat on her back, but she's sleeping - she needs the sleep and I need the break. I'm convinced if I could just get her to burp, we'd be fine.

Jodi - can you give me more details on what you do with AJ? Andrew has my email address. And yes, I saw our former roommate in all her living dead glory. Sigh. So proud to say I knew her when...

Kath - OK, Irving didn't exactly plagerize Fifth Business, but there are strong similarities. I even read something once where Irving openly admitted to being strongly influenced by Davies.

My cutest Sammie moment in recent memory - she ate the cheese out of her cheese sandwich, then tore the bread into little pieces and said, "Look, I'm eating it in pieces like our church guy!" At least it shows we take her to church, but maybe we should explain the man in robes at the front is the priest, not "our church guy". Or, as Marn once called him, the guy in the dress at the front :)

Cutest Hailey moment - a few nights ago when asked who she wanted to pray for, she said, "Grandma, Grandpa, Oma, Opa and our computer."

In other news, my sister was in a car accident this week. Fortunately, no people were seriously injured, but her truck was totalled. So, she's coming this weekend (hopefully) with her boyfriend and our dad, and they will be borrowing my car for about a month, until they buy a new vehicle. Not good news about the accident, but I'm glad they're coming to visit.

Oh, and Sammie was the leader at school yesterday. You would think, after weeks of pouty faces over not being the leader, that this would be the first thing she would tell me when she got home. Nope, it took about half an hour before she thought to share that with me.

Well, Hailey has just woken up from her nap, cranky as all get out, and has not forgotten that I told her she could have some computer time when she got up. It seems I just get on the computer and one kid or another needs something. I suppose I signed on for that when I chose to have kids, right? Anyway, I will turn the computer over to Her Whininess.

Oh, and happy Thanksgiving to all my American friends!