Wednesday, April 25, 2007

Workin' 9 to 5...

Well, more like 8:15 to 4:15, plus some work at home, but you get the idea. I've been back to work for a couple of weeks now and am feeling right back in the swing of things. I had forgotten how much I really do love my job, and have been reminded these last couple of weeks. Ryan has been home with the girls and they're all still alive and the house is still standing, and they're even smiling most days, so all is well in that area too. I also hadn't really realized how drained I was when I was pregnant. I just can't believe how much more energy I have at work than I did a year ago when I was just starting my 2nd trimester. It's amazing! And that's even with all the waking up at night thanks to the monster. I don't know what it is, lately she's back to eating every few hours around the clock. I have this theory that the reason she's hungry is that she doesn't get enough at any one feeding from me, so I keep nursing her when she wakes up to try to increase the milk supply, but all that seems to happen is she wakes up again in a few hours and I'm exhausted when I finally get up in the morning.

And I'm really tired of looking pregnant! I know, it took 9 months to gain the weight, so why shouldn't it take more than 6 to lose it, but it's not about the number on the scale. It's about the fact that I don't look fat, I look pregnant. I don't know why. I don't know if it's because I had c-sections and the abdominal muscles aren't healed, or because I only gained weight in my belly so that's the only place I need to lose it, or what. I'm almost back into the clothes I was wearing the summer before I got pregnant with Rylee (after the 12-week challenge) but I still look like I'm pregnant and I hate it. I know I should just focus on being healthy and not worry about my appearance, but there it is. I look like I'm pregnant and I'm not and I hate it.

Update on Tatiana - she did not have a very good weekend, but Carianne's was okay. She did go home and got to be with her boys, which helped her spirits. Some of the fluid had to be drained from the prosthesis in Tatiana's abdomen because she was just in too much pain, and apparently there's been some swelling, but Carianne was allowed to hold her again today. I'm hoping that's a good sign. I've passed on all the good wishes people have sent to me and ask that you continue to keep them in your thoughts/prayers.

1 comment:

Jo said...

Can I join the "I hate still looking pregnant" club? I totally hear you!!!

Good for you - keeping up with nursing and working... not easy. She might be missing her mom too, and night time is the best time to snuggle in with you and reconnect. Just a thought...

Hang in there!